A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Is being to nice to your ex sending the wrong message and is it fair to your new partner when your to nice to your ex?? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): If my partner was nasty to his ex then i would interprit he wasnt over her. I wouldnt worry too much. Have i read your question right? Its not easy to understand. If its being done in secret then its a different matter. If there is nothing being done with intent and the x reads it wrong,thats the x's problem.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): Your question is hard to understand. Is it being done behind your back? Why dont you trust?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): has she ever done anything to warrant your way of thinkin? if so then you need to get out. its been 1 discovery after another followed by denial then yes. If she tells you everythin its probably innocent.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): If anything was going down then she would have kept it secret. Disregarding your partner is keeping secrets. If done in the open then she, in most cases,is not doing anything wrong. Would you rather she hid things and had a double life? If there was any intention on her behalf then you wouldnt even know until you find out about a secret phone,email address etc. If nothing is being hidden then theres nothing to hide.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): In my experience,when you can be nice to an ex it shows you are well over them. If the ex builds another story out of it,then thats a future problem for them. If you keep in touch with an ex and hide it,then there is somethin more. If its in the open and you feel insecure then its yourself you should question.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): Exes are of all kinds.
Some can hear you say hello and think nothing of it; just go on their way. Others interpret for more than it is. Some will twist it, and believe you're sending a signal for something beyond a mere greeting.
So, the question of if it is fair to your new partner to be nice to an ex is really about what the relationship is between you and your ex. If you and your ex are attracted, either one or both ways, yeah, you've got a violation, because all communication is subject to being misconstrued. If you and your ex have ZERO attraction and issues, being nice is cool.
Your question could use a little more detail...
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