A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years. We have had quite a rough relationship. He has cheated on me multiple times and I have done the same. We have been engaged to each other about 15 times but we continue to cancel our engagement each time we break up. We have two girls together and we have broken up 3 times this year and gotten back together. The longest we have been "a couple" is 6 months, but it never lasts longer than that because we always have a fight and break up. I no longer trust him, and quite honestly I feel the need to know where he is, who he's with, and what he's doing at all times. I am going to school full-time right now and don't have a job but I am sick of being in such an unstable relationship. I want to leave my bf for good but I am relying on him to pay the bills and I don't have anywhere to go. Should I stick it out and try to make this relationship work, or do what I have wanted to do for awhile I leave him for good? And if I leave him what are the steps I need to take to care for my girls and myself without him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): This relationship is very unhealthy for both of you, but also for your daughters! You and him are their prime examples of how men an women interact, and this is not good for them to witness.
Do you have any family nearby? Perhaps a parent or sibling will let you stay with them until you can get on your feet. Or if you have a good friend. But be prepaired to work and go to school and pay for daycare, which is all difficult. It is not impossible and as a single mom you can qualify for some assistance. Being on assistance doesn't mean you will be on assistance forever. You can turn your life around.
Also, if you want to be in a relationship with this guy, you will need to get into couple's therapy. Serious couple's therapy. If not you at least need to get to a place where you are civil for your daughters' sake.
But don't stay with him just for money. You both have major problems to work out and deal with before you can have any sort of healthy relationship.
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