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female
,
anonymous
writes: Should I wait for him? The man I hope to spend the rest of my life with is still not ready to move on with our relationship. His wife left him 3 yrs ago and we got together within weeks. He only wants me there when his kids are around. He hasn't told me he loves me but i know he needs me. He has tried to finish our relationship on several occasions. But we end up getting back together. I have told him I want more and he says he can't give me more. We don't live together. Over the last year he bumped into a girl he knew years ago and they text each other all the time and spend time together. They are just friends at the moment but i'm sure he really fancies her as she seems to have gained his attention but I fear at the moment he's just too scared to do anything about it. He's seems stuck. How can I get him to move on and build on our relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2006): No, no, no hun...you should not wait for him. I think you are in love with the fantasy of 'loving' this guy which is causing you to be so emotionally blind. What is this man really doing and what is his behaviours really, really telling you? Texting other women?! He's not returning your love, dear and unrequited love is a painful, useless place to exsist. Listen to you feelings and what they are telling you. You sound lonely, unhappy and unfulfilled. It's time to start focusing on your own needs? You just have to find that worthiness for yourself, that is deep within and use it as jumping board to get up and walk away from all this. Start by branching out, exploring new possibilities in other areas of life. If you begin to make your own life rewarding, wouldn't you feel happier and more confident. When you develop more self-esteem (rather than letting your feelings of worth depend on a man who's treating you badly) you'll realise that you don't have room in your life for half-way relationships that keep you needy and dangling precariously.. Some day I'm sure you'll meet a man who will be able to accept and return all the love that you want to give. This guy knows you love him and if he'd wanted to return that love, he could. But he isn't.. Forget him and go make you life better. Try to make yourself as worthy as possible of being loved, and when that happens, you will be amazed at the wonderful things that will happen. But first, accept this man is not for you and stop hanging onto a fantasy. Please gain back your confidence and go find a real, complete love. Quit wasting your time on a guy who who only 'needs' you when 'he' wants someone at his beck and call. He has to want to give to you and he is not capable of giving you committment and love. in a nutshell, he's self-centered. You life is just worth too much to sit and wait on a man like this. Be strong and I only wish the best for you, dear...Good luck
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (19 September 2006):
 Send him to the gutter there're plenty of boys willing to meet you
good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2006): Dont waste your time' hoping for something that you knew will not come true' this is 2 lines for you.. 1. he love you because he need you 2. he need you because he love you.. i guess you can see the diffirence... its hard to accept the truth but for your own sake' dont wait for him to move on and move to you'' look for your own sake'' you suppose to be the one who move on not him... good luck.... XXX gladyz
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A
female
reader, tyme +, writes (19 September 2006):
loving and needing someone is two totally different things,
while you say that he needs you, I think you know he doesnt love you.
You should think about what you want from a relationship and if this man cant give you the comitment that you want you should move on.
Belive it or not you will find someone that thinks,acts and loves you for you!
Trust me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2006): if he wanted to be with you he wouldnt be texting some other woman spare some dignity for yourself
he tried to break it off
he only wants you around when he needs help with kids
he has never told you he loves or appreciates you
why do u even waste your time
sorry to sound harsh but am sure you could do a hell of a lot better!!!
and you know it deep down
good luck
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