A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok there is this girl I met online as friends at first. Well she was married so no interest from me. Well we found out how much in common we got and she fell for me. One night she confesses her feelings and that her husband treats her like a slave. She says she wants me to be with her. My first reaction I was shocked I didn't know what to say. So I told her to take a while think what she really wants. That if she also wants to leave her husband she leaves him for herself and not me. Well about 2 weeks things where normal for a while. She then says she has come to conclusion that I would make her happiest. That talking to me for 5 minutes makes her day better.I really like her and she wants me to wait for her. The truth is I feel bad about this emotional affair, but if he treated her like a person and not a slave she wouldn't be falling for me. I never flirted or anything, I did nothing that would make her feel special. I just talked to her. Now things have progressed with me and her I really like her, and we both care about each other a lot.Please don't tell me to move on now, because its not that easy. Shes everything I want in a girl that I never thought I would find. She feels the same about me so I know we wouldn't be able to just stop things.I did tell her, if we do this I cannot do anything physical until divorce is to the point its nearly over. We can only talk and thats it. She agreed so we are going to stay apart until time is right.Should I wait for her? If I do wait for her how long until I should move on? I feel fate brought us together and we share a very weird connection. We are always thinking the same thing its very strange.
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affair, divorce, flirt, met online, move on Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the opinion deejuliet. I will ponder things and think about it for sure. I am sure I will make right decision in the end. Thanks
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (17 June 2008):
 Since you have never met her you have no idea as the the truth and verasity of anything she says. You dont know if her husband really treats her so badly or if she really is wonderful. She hasnt a clue if you will make her more happy than her husband. Right now everything is in the realm of fantasy. As for waiting, I dont know if you can really be that patient. We are not talking months here, but years. While some divorces go quickly if both parties are cooperative, more often they take a long time. If he truly 'treats her as a slave' than he is not likely to willingly give up his 'slave' too easily. For example, my divorce took close to 2 years before it was final. Are you prepared to wait 2 years just to see if she is worth waiting for? By that I mean that you cannot begin to bring this relationship out of the fantasy realm and into reality and get to know one another in the real world until she is a free woman. After waiting for her for 2 years then you will get to know her and what if you find at that point she wasnt worth it after all? If she lived in the same town and you knew each other I might answer differantly. But I do not think this is in your best interest here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell we haven't met for a few reasons one, since she is still married to him and living with him its not a smart idea. I am planning a trip to visit as soon as I am able to.
I understand online / phone relationships can fail in person so we are going to check that out definitely when we can. We have both been very open about our good and bad habits, our faults, and our friendships etc.. We want his to work as well as possible. We have discussed each others doubts, like me being 7 years younger im 21 shes 28.
As for waiting for someone I know online, its not really a problem for me I am overall a very patient person. I have dealt with other girls in the past all have let me down. Either it felt one sided (me caring them not) or we didn't share interest. This girl actually cares about me, and we are very similar in about everyway. In a twisted way this is most promising one I have ever felt.
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A
female
reader, SummerSunshine  +, writes (13 June 2008):
 I agree with deeJuiliet. Need more details, have you met her in person?
But I always say go with ur gut feeling, if u like someone and she is prepared to give up her marriage for you then that is already saying how much she likes you. This is a big step for her. Pay her back in return and wait, it will do you good in the long run.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): If you only met this girl from internet then move on.But if she is real then it sounds like you guys have a love connection,dont be shy not to be physical
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (13 June 2008):
Have you ever met this woman in person or is it just an online friendship/romance? The answer to that question will highly influence my responce to your problem.
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