A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im really in a confusing situation. Ive been seeing this man for a while now.he says he loves me and i love him. We do have a special bond and i just cant c myself with anyone else.prob is hes been a bad lad in his life. Had lots of women and hes always been honest bout this. Problem is he seems to have a barrier that he just cant get over.and we fall out about this. He find it very hard to let me in with his life and his friends.its like he doesnt want me to get too close! He says its cos hes scared of being vunerable. Being hurt. Hes been hurt b4 in his past. But i c it as he doesnt want me around. Say on a nite out he will be mixing with alot of ex girlfriend. But i cant do nothing bout that. Should i be bothered as he is friend with them.but obviously he wouldnt be with me. And they obviously didnt work for a reason. He does try and open up to me i just find it frustrating! I dont want to wait around going nowhere. He has promised that he will start inviting me to things. Do i give it say 3 months and if nothing changes then try and move on? We dont live in the same town either which makes it hard. Plus i dont no if i could move there or him move here. We both have children.its hard to no what to do. I do love him. And i know he does me. He says he will be an sad man if he dont do something bout it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): It sounds like there are some things holding him back. He seems to want to let you in more, and spend more time with you and stuff, but always at some point in the future, instead of right now. He is keeping you waiting around. When will he start to do the things he says?
I think you need to tell him again that this is getting to you, and that you would like things to change. Then see what happens. Hopefully, he will realise what he is doing and make more of an effort.
But if not, then it's up to you if you want to hang around or not. I don't think he is being fair to you at all though, especially as he talks to his exes right in front of you. It's like you are there as a convenient partner...but that's all. You deserve to be treated better than that.
Good luck, I hope things get sorted. x
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