A
female
age
30-35,
*issAnnonimus
writes:I ve been in a relationship with this guy for 7 months now.He's an athlete and used to play for my country.When we first met,i just came out of a relationship and had no interest in starting a new one,but he was so understanding and gave me time,so loving that we ended up in a relationship.He introduced me to all of his friends,both in my country and his,invited me to come and visit his family,but due to my obligations i couldn't,which kind of hurt him in a way.When we were on one place everything was going perfect and he wanted to sign again for my country,but i encouraged him to chose what's best for him so he ended up signing for another club and we decided we r going to start a distance relationship.Thats when all the problems have started.Since he went away,our communication deteriorated.We barely talk on skype and every time we do its short and i noticed he s not really into it.We text during the day,and thats pretty much it.When i confronted him,he apologised and said he s going to work on it,got better for a while and than continued the same way.He didnt have internet when he first moved,than he had so much obligations,than an injury.In my opinion,when you want something you will always find a way,regardless of how busy you are. When i mention break up,he freaked out,then disappeared for 2 days and than came back bagging,saying how he needed to think those 2 days, saying how we will find a way to work it out,just to let him take care of his current obligations.So i really dont know what to do.I had distance relationship before,and never had problems like this,we communicated all the time.And its not normal to me,not to talk with my bf,not to know how he spends his days,where he is.But it confuses me cause he seems really serious about us,and he does text me every morning,during the day,send me pics,and keeps saying how much he cares.Also,he's a cancer in horoscope,and i never had to deal with guys like that,even though i am cancer myself.And when i confront him,he runs away,need to think,and i think that characteristic of his sign in a way.Also,he didnt have relationship before me for a longgg and never had a distance one.I was supposed to go and visit him now,but i m not even sure about us anymore.Not to mention,that when he is horny,than he always calls : and at times i worry,cause our sex life is extremly good and then i start thinking that maybe thats why he wants to keep doing this,butwhen i look back at all of this time with him,it was so serious, and when we were at one spot it was a perfect relationship.So i dont know what to do?This has been going on for a month now, yet he's in new place,doesnt even know the people there yet...should i just go visit him and see how things work out?i am not so cold-headed now to see if this signs r too obvious,and he simply doesnt care enough?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2014): Let it go. Don't agonize over a frustrating long-distance relationship that he has already shown you that he wasn't all that into it anyway. You got a preview of things to come. Your bland exchange over Skype was your first spoiler-alert! Then avoiding communication to discuss your issues is another.
Build your wisdom on what you know. As you brilliantly stated:
"In my opinion,when you want something you will always find a way,regardless of how busy you are."
That is, under reasonable conditions and upon the most feasible opportunity.
I think your gut-instincts are on the mark. Considering the good sex, and always having someone available for dry-spells and booty calls.
LDR's are difficult and stressful enough, unless both parties work at it equally as hard to keep it going.
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