A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i dont know what to do, i caught my dad and my best friend having sex in the kitchen.they did not see me (or so i thought)...what am i going to do?????My friend is 16, she is very flirty with men and wears very revealing clothes and always says that men are so weak and can never say no and she said "your dad is so sexy" and very good at it. I got so upset and dont know what to do now.Please help...tell me what to do..should i tell my mom??
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): Every question could be a fake question. Some of the aunts could be fakes also. I can think of some who probably are. I may have missed something when I read the question and answers, but why is it so obviously fake. Please enlighten those of us who cannot have the foresight and intelligence of the ones who can know the answer so easily. I am always open to insight from those with such great intelligence.
To the poster: I think that Diovan's advice and that of many other aunts (oops, suckers) has been very good.
Oh damn, I hate being so stupid. Perhaps we need a stupid committee to determine which of the aunts are stupid. I think we have found the chairman and co-chair.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 June 2008):
 I want to be Tweedledee, can I, please please?!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): Thanks Tweedledumb and Tweedledee (you can fight amongst yourselves over which one is which) You both had the benefit of hindsight and would not have known before the facts.
Hi Dear caller,
Dump the friend. Tell your dad to tell your mum. Give him a week, then tell her yourself.
Oh showers, I can't believe it.... I knew and still I get drawn in.... I am a sucker of the worse kind... Stupid, stupid, stupid (Diovanlestat bangs head repeatedly on table)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 June 2008):
Suckers
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): original poster:
Thank you for all your advice, i still dont know what to do, but i really dont want my parents to split up.
My dad is 48 and he is married to my mom for about 18 years
still not sure whether to tell mom or not.
I have told my dad what i saw and he said he was really sorry and that it was a stupid thing to do and has asked me not to say anything to mom...i just dont know what to do, i am so angry at him!! I think i hate him for what he has done....hate him!!
I asked my friend why she did this, she said that she liked the attention and he knew what to do and she enjoyed it and she said its not entirely her fault because he came onto her, i asked her not to do it again or else i cant be her friend any longer, but she just said...depends whether she wants to have sex with him or not..so now i know she does not care about me and is only out for sex with as many men as she can.
So i will have to see..i am so upset, angry and hurt i just cant believe this has happened!!
Thanks once again to everyone
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): talk to ur mother about it, 4 heavens sake they have betrayed u, they cant just go around acting like it neva happened
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): This is a very difficult situation for you. Your best friend has betrayed you by having sex with your dad. If you tell your mom, it could break up their marriage. Your mom might also tell your friend's parents and the police, and your friend's parents might press charges against your dad, and he could go to prison for a long, long time. So while telling your mom might be the right thing to do, it could have really bad, bad consequences for your family. I think you also need to decide whether to stay friends with this girl. If you do, she needs to promise not to ever have sex with your dad again. Good luck to you and please post back here to let us know what you decide to do and how it turns out.
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A
female
reader, silvia{love}  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 yes love u shuld but u shuld have an evidence just incase your mom dont believe you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): I too think you should tell your mother. Also, how old is your dad, and how long have he and your mom been married?
I think you should also find a new best friend. She did wrong by you in a very bad way. Having sex with your dad is not the act of a friend. It would be different if he was divorced. But he is married, and that makes all the difference. You need to confront her and ask her why she had sex with your dad and risk breaking up his marriage? Why have sex with your dad when she could have sex with guys her own age?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): Why do people isnist on calling these people 'friends'?
Friends don't screw other friend's dad's. It's just not on. That is the real no-go zone.
Now the friend is only half the problem. The dad is as muchto blame. Perhaps she seduced him by feeding and preying i\on his insecurities and doubts he may be having in his own marriage, after all he is only human, but still. As an adult he should be able to set aside those feelings and know how to handle them as an adult.
I of all people know what its like to have feelings for a 16 year old. But I also know it would be wrong to indulge those feelings in any form... and I'm single. It's double wrong when he's married.
I think there is no way out of this situation that won't be painful. And you run the risk of being branded a liar if you go to your mother. She might not want to believe that your father, or this girl, are capable of such an error in judgement.
You need proof. You need to catch and record them in the act so no lie is possible.
Once the pieces are broken, you can approach the father with the proof and use it to appeal to his betternature, which whilst not in use at this point in time obviously, is still there somewhere.
Tell him to talk to your mother, confess and seek redemption or you will show her the video anyway and then no redemption will be possible for a very long time.
Once the secret is out, it is out of your hands and into those of the guilty parties and the mother. And it will no longer be your concern until a solution has been reached or the marriage has been annulled.
Again, I am sorry you have been put in the really terrible position, especially by two people you trusted.
1) Forgiveness is something you will have to do to both parites sooner or later, but mean it when you do.
2) This 'friend' is not someone you need in your life and unless you feel you can help her, its best to get her out of it.
3) No matter how bad you think things can get... they can always be worse. Always.
Good luck with everything, you'll need it.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow +, writes (26 June 2008):
 You don;t wanna hear this.
YOur going to have to tell your mom only because its just fair for her to know. Secondly i wouldn't talk to that friends at all! She's not your friend if she slept with your dad. Your mom will get upset and probably file for divorce. But if you left it unsaid then your dad will continue cheating on your mom wich is not fair to you (for having to keep it secret or your mom. the sooner the better and it is probably going to be a very long and stressfull ride for you both. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 YES!! By all means, please tell her. Don't let her continue to be fooled, thinking her husband is an honorable, loving man!! Put yourself in her shoes. If you had a boyfriend (or husband) wouldn't YOU want to know if he was screwing someone else? It may be hard to have this conversation with her, but you MUST do it. What she does with the information is up to her. But don't keep it from her because she will someday find out and then she will feel betrayed by both of you as if you were in on it together. Good luck. She's going to need a shoulder to cry on.
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A
female
reader, ariad  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 YES, you have the right to tell your mother.
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A
female
reader, iceprincess422  +, writes (26 June 2008):
umnmmm u shud totally tell her and if matters get worse u need to go to the police bcuz it cud be rape.and if u keep this information to urself and ur mom finds out about it on her own and she finds out that u knew she is going to be mad at u and ask u y u didnt tell her.
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