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Should I tell my husband the baby isn't his?

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 September 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 September 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am married to the love of my life, John, and just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. However, the baby isn't his. About a year and a half ago, there was this guy named Mike, who was friends with me and my husband. One day, we all got really drunk and I ended up having sex with both of them. I should have ended it there, but we kept hooking up. He ended up moving in with us. So nearly 9 months ago, Mike died in a motorcycle accident. That same month, I missed my period and I found out that I was pregnant. In the back of my mind, I thought that it could be Mike's. I waited until a few days ago to get a paternity test, because I know that the news will devastate my husband. Do I tell him and risk him leaving me with with the kid or do I not tell him and hope he doesn't find out?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008):

I'm a bit slow.

Do you mean a DNA test? If so, who provided samples for testing? Your husband, or did you collect material from your late boyfriend's grave, assuming he wasn't cremated? If it was from the former, he will surely want to know the result, not so?

Your story doesn't gel. But as I say, I am a bit slow.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (24 September 2008):

What is there to gain by telling your husband?

He knows you slept with his friend as he was there at the time!

All telling him would do is cause hurt and possibly deprive your baby of a great dad.

The real father is dead. He's gone and it's not going to hurt him to have his best friend bring up his baby as his own.

Let the baby have a happy family. The only time anyone need know is if there is a genetic medical reason, and then you only need to tell the doctor and not your hubbie.

Good Luck!! xx

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