A
male
age
41-50,
*owerslam
writes: Hi all,I had been seeing my friend's sister after she came onto me over Christmas. I had liked her for a long time. She told me that she had wanted me for a long time which felt good.We had several conversations in which she and i discussed a future together. We did not tell her brother even though we both had said we should.Things were going well when she suddenly had a change of heart and texted me saying she'd been thinking about things and that she wasn't ready for a relationship at this stage. I wished her the best but said i wouldn't be able to be just friends for the moment until i cleared my head.I have made no contact but she has texted me to see if i was going to her brothers' gigs occasionaly. I knew these were just friendly texts. My problem is that i had fallen for her harder than i was willing to admit and now i have to hear that she is probably moving back in with her ex-boyfriend from my friend. They were together for 8 years and only apart 9 months. I know it is not rational but it is upsetting me and my main dilemma is should i tell my friend now that i had been seeing his sister and that i don't want to hear about her private life now? I'm afraid i'd lose a friend and after the 6 weeks that have passed i'm also afraid it would come across as petty towards his sister. I don't want to hurt anyone i just want to protect myself. So do i tell him or not?
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male
reader, Capri2 +, writes (8 April 2011):
If you are 100% sure you won't be back with her, you should not tell him. You will end up knowing about her anyway, Even if your friend doesn't tell you. And your friend will be mad at you, at least because you didn't tell him from the start.If you are willing to gain her back, you better let your friend know everything now.
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