A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey all im really fed up of my family and i need some advice.Im 18 and im fed up of my dad's side of my family. There bitchy, spiteful and selfish and ive basically had enough now. My dads's parents have 3 children, my auntie, my dad, and my uncle. They also have 5 granddaughters including me. The problem isnt just my grandparents though, its the whole family. Though my grandparents favourite my uncles two daughters and they make that totally obvious to everyone.Il tell you some things they do.I was in a relationship with a boy for 2 and a half years and we recently split in septemeber, i lost my virginity to this boy, and he met all my family, came out for meals with us, and came down my nans for partys. Recently he told me my 15 year old cousin has been emailing him asking him to be her boyfriend and commenting on all his photos on facebook saying 'sexy, fit, lush' and that his friends are taking the mick as they can see she's related to me by the unusual last name she has, and think its weird. I asked her about this, and she admitted it and said she would stop. Ten minutes later she emails him and says not to tell me, when i confront her again she says whats the problem your not with him now?My nan and gramp came home on sunday from spain, me and my sister got a text at half eleven at night saying they had just got in as there had been an accident on the motorway. My eldest cousin whom i am really close to accidently dropped them in trouble by saying they came to her house and saw her at 6 o clock, but she was annoyed as shes pregnant with there first grandchild but they still went and saw my other two cousins first at about 3 o clock. They got home at 12pm. So my nan point blanked lied to us.Then yesterday they know i work 11 until half 5 on a sunday day time as a waitress, they arranged a get together with all the family that started at 5, thats half an hour before i finished and they new that, i smelt like cooking so i wanted to shower and wash my hair so i told my parents and sister to go without me and explain why i wasnt there. Next thing i know my auntie texts me 'i am very dissapointed' i text her back explaning the situation and she text me back 'you better get here now' Its not my fault they arrange it on a day i cant make!My nan held a girly gathering at her house about a month ago, my mum made a cake and took it over, my nan came in and commented on my mums cake too me saying how nice it was, she was stood behind me so i looked over my shoulder smiled and turned back around, something made me look back again though and when i did i caught my nan pointing at me and mouthing to my auntie, then when she noticed i had caught her out she sarcastically said 'hello'.Im totally fed up, sick to my back teeth of the lying, the favourtism, the bitchyness everything. This is not a family, if it is then who needs enemys? Do you think i should tell them how fed up i am or just keep my distance and show them i am not happy?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): Just keep a bit of distance to them, don't let their back biting and all that other stuff get you down, you can't choose your family but you don't have to put up with crap from them either.
Take each situation as it comes, you're an adult now with your own life, friends and commitments. Your only loyalty to them is communions, weddings and funerals, just because they're family doesn't mean they can disrepect you.
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