A
male
age
30-35,
*andomando
writes:I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago. Well she broke up with me. She wants to be my friend I said no I wont. She texts me all the time and 99%of the time I dont respond. I want to get back together with her but she said no.(at the beginning of the break up). She has texted me before"i could have seen us getting married" "i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you"..And i felt the same way... "I will always love you" or "I need you right now" (not sexually just talk) and yesterday she said " I miss you" and sent it twice in different texts! I am 5 hours away from her. My parents are coming up now.!!!!!! They leave tomorrow and I was going to get a ride down. I didnt tell her I was coming home. I love her so much I want her back but I am not planning to get her back. I really just want to hold her in my hands. I miss that so badly its almost all I can think about!!So this is how I messed up, Ill keep it short cause its kinda long..If u want to know the full story let me know but... First 3 days of college my cousin(goes to same college and alot older) got me really drunk. Ya i know; No excuse when you drink but its college! and my cousin!! I Blacked out. Supposedly I went to my room got on my computer and went on facebook and friended this girl I am not aloud to be friends with, we talked and then turned to sexting.. Next morning I went on my computer with no recollection of this conversation but I saw her posts on my wall and deleted her from my friends. 3 weeks later I visited my gf and she hacked on my computer when I was in the shower and found thatconversation in 4 min... ( no idea how she got on my computer and facebook). We brooke up on the spot and I didnt even get to say anything. She confronted me in my bathrobe and was reading it and i didnt know what to say...(i felt like I was in a movie. no joke) I know trust is lost. but I know I could get it back. We were doing good, so I dont know why she went through my stuff.. but her past is really really bad soo i think that had some reason to her not trusting me and looking through my stuff... OOO and she has done this alot of times, look through my phone and History on my computer too.. Do I do this??? Nope. I honestly didnt know why she was doing that until now..So my question is should I tell her Im coming down and will be home Saturday night? Or, not tell her surprise her at night around 9ish when I get back with maybe some flowers or something nice? What should we do when I see her? I really just want to run to her hug her not say one word and start kissing her and if she gets mad ill be like its a free country and continue cause I always say that to her and she thinks its funny :). I know she misses me shes told me. How do i sweep her off her feet?? I need help!
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broke up, cousin, drunk, facebook, flowers, get back together, her past, kissing, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): I agree with aunt honesty. If you love her, tell her. If you love her, show her it was a one time mistake and be with her.
Listen to The Beatle's song, Hey Jude. "If you want her, go out and get her!" And let her into you're heart... actually, you should listen to that song. :)
Don't hide from her, she said she loves you. You have to make the repairs, and if you do it right, then hopefully you've found something much better than just some fling. She'll be more than "this girl I used to date." But you'll never know if you don't try.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 I really don't understand men at all, you done the wrong here, she is crying out to you to prove to her that you are sorry, so you should be telling her now exactly how you feel. Tell her you still love her as well and you want her back, if you don't she is going to just convince her more that you do not care.
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A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (8 October 2011):
landomando is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe just texted me "I love you". I know she still loves me. I still love her. But i feel if i show any sort of emotion she will be like; he still likes me he still likes me. and that will just comfort her for a couple more weeks or moths and then i will be down shit creek.. Idk
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): I remember your story from before. It is a sad story for you both.
I say to tell her you are coming, but then leave it in her hands what happens. Maybe she will want to see you. From her texts I think she does love you but is probably very scared of being hurt by you. I understand this. So do tell her you're coming, then wait for her response.
Rebuilding trust will be hard. To rebuild trust you must show you don't contact this other girl, and that you understand why this hurt her. That's one thing that I think some people don't understand. You must cut off the person you made the discrepincy with. If you love this girl enough to want to marry her and rebuild, then you must sacrifice the friendship with that other girl.
I do hope you can patch things up with her, actually. But it will be hard. The saying goes, "once bitten, twice shy..." it is the truth.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 October 2011):
I have answered one of your previous posts before regarding this situation. At the end of the day it is clear that she still loves you and off course she misses you, but you broke her trust and she needs time to see if she can trust you again. I think you should tell her in advance that you are coming home and ask her can you both meet up, because she may not react to good at you just landing at her door especially since she is having a hard enough time at the moment trying to deal with everything. I know you want her back but the best thing to do is to ask to meet her and hope that she agrees. You need to show her now that you can be trusted and hope for the best.
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