A
female
age
30-35,
*ail..
writes:Me and my boyfriends friends have always gotten along,but his family.. Well lets just say they don't treat him the best in the world and it hurts my feelings that he would rather move farther away from me just so he doesn't have to deal with his family here. His mother just nags him about everything because she messed her life up and his is going somewhere. She complains about me when i'm there and says the only reason i'm there is cause the other girls didn't have time to drop by to see him. She makes it seem like he is cheating on me just so she will ruin everything for him. he honestly loves my mom more than his whole family. We wanna help him but can't cause his mom gets in the way and comes over to my house saying that we are stealing her son from her. And he still loves her. i don't wanna seem like a horrilbe girlfriend yet alone a horrilbe person to anyone but am i wrong for telling her something about it? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): It's his mother, somehow u got into her badbooks, and trying to steal your boyfriend away to ur mum from his 'evil' mum is very mellodramatic, and highly inappropriate. It's his mum, she loves him he loves her, ignore her and be more polite in her presence.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (19 November 2010):
One thing that you said stuck out to me which was "And he still loves her." Of course he does and will, she's his mother. I think it's okay to say something as long as you don't overstep your boundaries.
First, I think that if you're at her house...absolutely under no circumstances should you say anything. It's her house and although she may be disrespectful to her son and/or you, you need to respect that it's her home and that if you don't like how she acts then you don't have to be at her house. Second, if she comes to your home and is disrespectful then yes, I think you have a right to say something. However, you need to be mature about it and be tactful. Don't start a fight over it, but let her know that it's not appreciated that she comes to your home being disrespectful and making untrue accusations. Third, I think this might be harder for you to grasp...but if your boyfriend is an adult, he needs to take care of his own problem. As an adult he isn't forced to live at home (although of course it makes life much easier) and if he doesn't like how she treats him or you, he needs to speak up...not you. I know you feel bad for him and want to help him, but it's HIS mother and he needs to be the one to deal with her. If you do, it'll only drive a larger wedge between your relationship and could even result in him getting upset with you. Maybe you should talk to him and see how he feels about it and how you feel about it and maybe help him with what he can or wants to do.
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