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Should I tell him that I don't enjoy sex with him? Or break up with him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 July 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 July 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little bit over a year. Things were pretty nice at first, then we started having sex.

I've never enjoyed sex with him, and I still don't feel any pleasure when we have intercourse.

I've stayed with him due to the amount of time we've been dating.

He doesn't know that I don't enjoy it, and I don't know how to tell him. Should I just ignore this hiccup, or should I tell him and try to fix this or break up?

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A female reader, Fari United Kingdom +, writes (5 July 2015):

Fari agony auntHey OP,

You probably heard that it takes too to tango and also there are two people in a relationship. In a relationship , Communication is really important. I dont think that you should tell him that right away. Try this! The next time that the two of you have sex , you can guide him . Thats right , I said it. Men need you to be communicative and tell them whats good and whats not but you dont wait until after sex to do it. So like, if he is doing something good to your body you could say something like "that feels good" *sexy voice* and also who knows your body more than you do?? I am assuming that you wouldve explored your body and you know what feels good and what doesnt. So just tell him and maybe take his hands and guide it to the G-spots. I am very positive that after you try that , you are gonna get better results. All the best.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (4 July 2015):

Honeypie agony auntShould you ignore it? Oh HECK no! WHY have you been settling for mediocre sex for a whole year? SEX is not just about GETTING it over with or PLEASING him. It's a two way street for BOTH of you to enjoy.

NEVER FAKE in bed. Never say things are fine or OK if they are not.

So IF there are other aspects of the relationship you LIKE, TALK to him. Don't tell him, YOU SUCK at sex, but tell him, I have to be honest with you, I haven't enjoyed out sex-life. THESE are the things I REALLY like in bed, these are the things I'm NOT a fan off. I haven't told you sooner because I didn't want you to think I didn't want to be with you.

The REASON you have a SHITTY sex life is because you don't GROW a set of ovaries and TALK to him.

Dumping him won't fix a thing, you will fake it with the next one too.

MEN are NOT mind readers. THEY aren't all that intuitive when it comes to sex either. YOU sometimes have to SHOW them or TELL them what you like.

TALK to him. IF you are wanting to be a GROWN woman in an ADULT relationship where two people have SEX, you NEED to be GROWN enough to TALK to him.

Get yourself the SEX-LIFE you DESERVE and WANT, not what you are willing to settle for. Or you... will END up wanting sex, with a dead libido. Don't give up.

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