A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am still think about my ex boyfriend from over 2 years ago all the time. When we first met about 3 years ago, I was immediately attracted to him and we started spending every day together after the first night we connected. Our relationship was strange, very sexual...both of us had some issues with drugs at the time, and he ended up getting his life into a mess and became depressed and withdrawn. He told me that he could not be a good boyfriend to me and hold a relationship because he needed to get his life together and basically stopped talking to me altogether and everyone else and became a hermit. I was so shocked and devastated because I had really fallen in love with his personality. He and I would have hours of conversation about everything and were very openly ourselves around each other and had an intense sexual attraction as well. I never told him I loved him because I didn't realize it at the time. After a few months he started to get back on his feet and we kept in touch and would still talk and see each other sometimes, but it was strictly friendly. I was happy with our friendship and I didn't feel like I wanted to be with him, and we dated other people. One night after not seeing each other for awhile we went out together with some friends and somehow we ended up making out and spending the night together. We started seeing each other romatically again but not very serious or anything. I was excited to have another chance without all the drugs and drinking we had done before, but soon after he found out that a girl he dated before was pregnant. He went back to her, and I understood. It KILLED me, but I know she needed him to be there and I did not interfere. I literally cried every day for weeks after even when I was at work I would go in the bathroom and cry because I could not stop thinking about this guy! Eventually I moved to another city, and I stopped talking to him thinking that it would help me forget about him, but I would dream about him and still find myself looking at his myspace to see what he was up to. Sadly, his child died at two months and after awhile he and the girl broke up. I have only talked to him a couple of times through e-mail since the last time we dated, but I want to see him when I go back to visit next month. I feel like I need to tell him how I feel or I will always regret not trying to get him back. I have never met someone who's personality I was so drawn to. I feel like even if he doesn't want anything romantic, I want him as a friend. Should I put myself out there and tell him everything, or be reserved and act casual and just try to be friends? I don't think I will ever get over losing him and not talking like this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): angel be friends first but don’t stop fighting, both of you won the fight against drugs, so you can win this one as well, it sounds like there is a real connection here, so keep fighting, and don’t give up, what you went through with him only 2 two of you can understand, and the fact that you are still here for him after everything that has happened says a lot, what you could do, is tell him how you feel how much you missed him and thought about him, but that you are willing to be friends and even if that’s it it would be ok, be strong, you are a very mature girl, I am 22 and I don’t think I would’ve handled it as well as what you did, good luck with this dear
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