A
female
age
36-40,
*izzy
writes:i have met this kind and loving man over the internet he gave me his phone number and we have been talking on the phone for several weeks. I love him but i am not all that sure becuz its only been a couple of WEEKS.He is the sweetest guy i have ever known. But see there's this one thing we don't know how each other look. He says he dosen't care i am nice and caring and thats enough for him. He says he wants to get married and have kids i told him i do too but not in like 5 or 6 years. This is the first time i have ever did this whole online dating thing so i am kinda nervous. Nervous of him and what he might think about me.He lives in Jersey and i live in South Carolina. A long way away from each other. I really want to know if we are made for each other so should i invite him to my hometown for the 4rth of July so we can spend time with each other. My real question is online dating safe? because this kinda stuff be on news and it scares me. I would look on the tv and be like that girl stupid met him on the INTERNET? she crazy now look AT ME. I never thought in a million years this would be me in this kinda situation. So any advice anything would be great right now it would be better than noting. I need to know ASAP. Should i take a chance?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): As the other aunts have said, if you want to meet him it should be in a public place, such as a restaurant, and you should notify a good friend and/or family member as to where you're going to be. Have your cell phone handy so you can check in with them.
Do not let him know where you live. Do not go to him with whatever hotel/motel he's staying in if he comes to your town! Arrive at the restaurant under your own steam, and when you leave after your date, make sure you get home by yourself! This isn't being over-cautious; its no more than using sound common sense when meeting a stranger for the first time! Personally, I'd use the same tactics for the 2nd and 3rd meetings also.
He may well be a decent, honest guy. He probably is. BUT the truth is that you don't know him. Only what he's emailed and what you can tell from your phone conversations.
I get the impression that you are willing to rush things a bit - because you say you love him and he's the sweetest thing. Fortunately you also say you're nervous and not really sure. Pay attention to THAT and hold your judgment on how sweet he is; whether you love him and whether you can be soul-mates! Your best bet is to take it slow and don't let him rush you either! Besides which, you haven't even seen a photo.
A further caution is that even if it does turn out that you like and respect one another and have a good time, long-distance relationships are not easy. So, be casual about it; enjoy meeting him and see what happens!
Good luck.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 ok some people have become happily married over the internet and some not so happy, its like anything else. but meet in a public place let someone know what the score is. and i think the biggest thing with online dating is you can feel so very close to a person hence why i think its easier to fall in love with them. so i wouldnt break the fireworks yet try and keep yourself resevered and enojoy meeting and possibly dating who knows what the future holds! all sorts of people have different views about the internet but the same thing can happen anywhere. so if you want to meet him then do it just be safe to put your mind at rest dont give him your home addie just meet him in town or something.. thats my opinion aphexy
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 May 2008):
Online dating is like any other kind of dating. There are lots of people who do it safely and happily but there are some psychos out there too.
There is plenty of advice about meeting people from the internet for the first time online. But the big one is to meet him in a public place, don't let him know where yo live, tell a friend all the details so they know if you are back late they should worry.
If he wants to come to your town for a holiday and stay in a hotel then it could work out fine. Just be careful.
The biggest risk here is finding out you aren't attracted to eachother. Why not swap photos first?
Good Luck!! xx
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