A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have been married for 20+ years. Our sex life is fine, but I'm looking for ways to spice things up a bit. Here's my question: Do you think it would be wise for me to surprise her with a sex toy (we've never used them before, and have never talked about using them)?I know that every person is different, that there is no way to predict her reaction, and that people will tell me that I should talk to her about it first, but where's the fun in that...lol! Anwway, are there any married ladies out there who have been surprised by their husband with such a "gift" or husbands who have provided such as surprise? I'm just wondering how things went.Also, is there a vibrator that women would recommend?Thanks for all your responses in advance.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): Her idea of getting crazy is to leave the lights on during sex, so it's probably a good idea for me to ask her in advance about introducing toys into the mix. I didn't realize that such a thing could be so upsetting for her as my intention is to add to the fun for both of us and move of us "out of the box", so to speak, not because I think she is inadequate. Thanks for the input and saving me from myself...lol.
A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (15 February 2011):
 Ok so there's no fun in asking her but there's no fun in putting her on the spot and potentially offending her either! you don't have to spoil the 'surprise' by asking he outright if she'd like you to buy some sex toys but you could casually mention it to her, maybe during foreplay and ask her if she's ever used sex toys and weather she thinks it would be fun. If she seems keen on the idea then I'm sure she'll be more than happy when you take the lead and surprise her, and if she doesn't like the idea then you'll be glad you mentioned it beforehand!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): How does your wife think about raunchy sex. Women are very careful to protect their "Reputation" whether married or not. If she thinks an outsider will hear about this she is going to tear into you like a hot knife in butter. I suggest you bring the subject up during a "climax", she might say, yes, then go get it. Otherwise leave well alone. Or you can start with something simple like an electric toothbrush, they vibrate well enough for most women.
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