A
female
age
36-40,
*ookwormrose
writes:I'm in a new relationship(been with him just over 2 mths now) with a really sweet, kind and generous guy, So i really wana make it work but i'm still in love with my ex who i split up with nearly 3 yeas ago (another very long complicated story) and i dont actually fancy him and my grandma( who brought me up and who i still live with) doesnt like him, she thinks he's ignorant and lazy. But i really like him and he's such a great guy and i know he'd never hurt me or anything. So should i stay with him, even though i dont fancy him, and hope i develop deeper feelings for him and that i get over my ex and my grandma starts to like him? (which could end in him getting hurt, if it doesnt work out) or do i end it now, even though it could potentially been a very great relationship?
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female
reader, bookwormrose +, writes (23 April 2008):
bookwormrose is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so as an update i have stoped comparing my b/f to my ex and i really dont even think about my ex anymore, i think the appeal of my ex was simply my longing to have the stabily back that i had with him. And i'm really trying to make our relationship work. thanks!
A
female
reader, bookwormrose +, writes (18 March 2008):
bookwormrose is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your answer! i really appreciate it.By the way angelagony aunt you were spot on with everything you said. he is a little ignorant and lazy sometimes.i think that maybe i am comparing my ex with my present b/f... i've done it b4, compared a b/f to that said ex, and it always makes the present b/f somehow not seem good enough, bt i think the reason is, the ex dumped me while i was still very much in love with him, we were engaged, i'd mentally planned our wedding, we had plans for the future, and he was a part of my life from the age of 14 to when we split up for good when i was 17 1/2 years old, and then we remained friends, and neither of us got into another relationship for about 2 years after we split up. we had a connection and he knows me better than anyone else in the world but we no longer even talk because he's moved on with his life and i'm not a part of that anymore, so it hurts. (I really did say it was a long complicated story!)But Thanks anyway!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): Define "great relationship". You don't like this guy how can that ever be a great relationship?
I have news for you its not great for him either to be with someone who "doesn't fancy him".
Yes you need to let him go. Then two people can have at least a shot at happiness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Its hard to say, as you havent explained the story behind your ex. But if you still dont fancy the new man now, then you probably never will, and there is no point being in the relationship if you just want to be with him out of sympathy or whatever. And as for your grandma, do you think the same as her, is he ignorant and lazy? She may have a point, but you need to listen to your heart. As for the old guy, are you comparing him to the new one? Maybe thats why you THINK you still love him the ex, is it because he seems better than the new man? You need to think seriously about what you are doing if you decide to get back with him. Ask yourself why you split up in the first place, and if you really do want to get back with him. Whichever guy you chose, or if neither, make sure its the right desicion for you, not anyone else.
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