A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So roughly four years ago I met a young man who was not from the same country that I was from and he was only in town for a couple days so we exchanged information just to stay connected. We were both in relationships at the time, however our conversation together when we met was such a breath of fresh air compared to a lot of guys in my city. After a year and a half of me being single and him being single for roughly 6 months. We have reconnected and spoke so deeply about life and are actually speaking on regular basis throughout the day. Its only been two months but it's starting to get more serious because he's is going to fly 3hrs and see me but I am just torn on if I should sleep with him or not when he gets here. I know it sounds ridiculous. I'm 23 and have not had a lot of partners but I haven't had sex in a long time and I really want to take that step with him but I'm afraid that I may damage any chances of a relationship. He will be here for around 3 days in April but we have already started talking about a trip to New York together in may. He has his own jewellery store and is doing very well for his age of 25. I have never dated for money so I don't care about that. He is just such a breath of fresh air and is so down to earth I feel like there really could be a future for us together. Should I sleep with him when he gets down here ? Should I wait? I'm just afraid it will change the flow of what we have going on. I know it's gonna happen eventually I'm just worried it way be too early. Any help is appreciated ! Thank you.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 April 2018):
 The choice is completely yours and his. But what is it you want from him? Is it some casual fun, is it a long term relationship? Or a meet up every now and then?
Personally I would take it slow so that there is no pressure. Get to know each other again on a face to face level. Don't pressure yourself in to sex. Just take things slow and if it happens well then it happens. However if you are looking for something long term I wouldn't jump straight in to bed with him.
A
female
reader, Lucky420  +, writes (27 March 2018):
 To have sex or not have sex...Okay this is entirely up to you. How you feel in the moment and whether you are happy for things to become physical regardless of everything else. By this I mean ask yourself why you feel it is necessary to make this physical? Is it because of the trip and this is a great chance for you to connect because you feel ready or are you wanting to get physical just to keep the momentum going and it may be expected of you?
Don't have sex with him unless you feel you want to regardless of the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2018): It all depends. Are you interested in something meaningful or just need sex? Are you ready for a long-distance romance? Are you prepared for the possibility he may change after sex; but you might get attached, because you had sex?
It all depends on what you are prepared to handle once the deed is done. You can't hang your heart on some refreshing chit-chat. You've got to know what his intentions are; and if his only interest is sex. If that's all, is that enough for you?
Don't have sex unless you're both on the same-page about it. You won't and can't know that; until you have discussed the possibilities, what he's looking for, and what comes next if you do have sex.
He's six-months out of a relationship. Is he over his ex?
Are you possibly a rebound-romance? His feelings could change; if she works hard to get him back! Do they keep in-touch? Has he resolved all emotional-misgivings about his breakup and tied all loose-ends? It could get complicated if you catch feelings and he's not over his ex.
Good-sex has a very confusing effect on women. It's not always as emotionally-detached as it can be for men; and you're already warming-up to him.
If you absolutely must have sex. Have it with measured and realistic expectations.
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