A
male
age
41-50,
*oe31
writes:Long story short, I got dumped by my girlfriend of two years in September because I was studying for my medical exams and never had any time for her for 6 months. She said little things turned into big things and she couldn't take me not being there for her. She got a new job during that period as well and I heard all the lines, "still love you", "see us getting married", and "I don't know what I want."That said, I was pathetic, begged, etc and as soon as things looked good (in September), she said she never wanted to speak to me again (November 1). Since that night exactly 6 weeks no contact to the day and 3.5 months broken up, she sent me an email that she was thinking of me and wished me a happy holiday. I responded very briefly with thanks and same to you. The next couple weeks, she sent a few more emails asking how I was and finally asked if we could talk.Finally, she called via phone two weeks ago to see how I was and to have a "normal conversation." Obviously, I hoped she wanted to get back together, but she never talked about the relationship, whether she is dating, etc. - and neither did I. I just told her how I was doing, my new job, etc. She told me about how she wants to go back to school, about her family, and dog and that was it. Since then we have emailed back and forth very briefly about the dog and random things. It goes roughly 3-4 days in between contact and I actually initiated the last email. She sent me another email last night with a picture of her dog and I responded briefly, told her about something at work that happened, and she said she is really happy for me and nothing more.That said, why would she contact me like this after NC? It's making me think about her again and checking my phone for her messages, etc. (like when we first broke up).I want to get back with her but nothing indicates she is willing except the short contact back and forth. At this point, I am setting myself up to get hurt again and I think about telling her not to contact me again as I still love her and have to move on. However, at the same time I wonder if she is trying to reconnect with me with the contact now and if I should ride it out to see what happens.Therefore, should I ask that we stop for good or let it go on more to see if anything comes of it. Does anyone have any experience with getting back with an ex and if this is normal progression to getting back? Any advice would be appreciated....thanks.At first I was really bummed, hurt, etc. But I maintained NC. I feel good now, dating, and not even sure if I want her back (some days I do, some days I miss her).
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male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (2 February 2011):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust an update:
Since the last posting, we have been sending very short emails back and forth every two or three days. I received and email on Saturday from her about how she was at some event and something reminded her or me. Then I sent some emails during the night and she never responded to the last one until Sunday afternoon. I followed up with something short.
Then yesterday (tuesday) she sent the following email,
Her - "Do you ever have moments where you miss me?"
Me - "Of course"
Her - "Me too"
It was a little weird so i sent another email a few hours later:
Me - "Are you ok?"
Her - "Yeah. you?"
Me - "Yeah. But I didn't send the last email. Do you want to talk?"
Her - "we can but I just sat down to eat and wont be back to my hotel until 9:15pm"
Me - "I am at work and won't be home until "9:30pm"
Me - "Hey. I just got home. Another time. Night." (this was at 10:30pm).
No response or anything.
What are your thoughts? Is she just lonely and wants an ego boost? Is she playing with me?
I am wondering if I should avoid email communications and try to get her to talk to me on the phone instead.
Do you think I should just stop responding in an attempt to get her back?
Thanks for the advice.
A
male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (27 January 2011):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really appreciate the response. Its getting to me but I am afraid to let go - even though I may get hurt yet again. I guess the question is whether or not now is the time to proceed with asking for another chance.
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