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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been feeling kind of insecure lately about my bf's ex-girlfriends. Now that we are more serious and have been seeing each other for almost a year, I want to ask him more details about his exes because I knew he had sex with them, though we haven't had sex because we're both celibate. I feel like I need to know more about them since we've been seeing each other a long time, but I don't know how to approach the subject. I don't want to make him feel bad about having to recall his exes, but I feel like I need to know more details about them. I feel as though we've gone to the same restaurants or places that he's gone with his exes and I want to ask him about it because I really don't like that he's getting ideas of where to take me out by referring to the other places he's gone to with his exes.I just don't want to do the same things as them or anything like that.At first I didn't care to know or want to know about his exes, but that's when we were first dating and not as serious as we are now. Do you think it's wise to ask him about them? thanks
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celibate, ex girlfriend, his ex, insecure Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (14 April 2006):
 Dear Reader and Friend in need,
If you feel uncomfortable in a relationship them of course you should ask him! It's perectly understandable that you want to know everything before it's too late. I respect you for being brave enough to think about it!
The Truth has to come out sometime, and it's better now then him telling you after you've done something huge like...Got Married!
It's only Human for you to want to be different from his exes. And you deserve to be treated differently.
The Hardest bit is bringing yourself to actually asking him. But just be cautious. Don't just go charging up to him demanding he tell you everything. Just tell him that it's important for you to know and you'll understand everything. Don't say anything until he's finished, let him tell you everything. If he says he doesn't want to talk about it then you tell him that you really need to know.
I'm sure you'll do fine but the longer you leave it the worst it'll get when you find out.
Hope this helps and all the best,
phoebe
xxx
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