A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have known K for a few years before we started talking and hanging out more as friends. He was due to move to another country so we met up for lunch, which ended up in coffee, drinks etc. Over the next few days we hung out a bit.....at a time where we both had some relationship issues with our other halves. In the end he moved to another country and we lost touch. He was still together with his girlfriend as he is nearing 40 and wishes to settle down and have kids soon and she was willing to move for him. Also they are both from the same cultural background which was what he wanted.Few days ago, I was in his area for a business trip and he asked me for drinks. When he met me he hugged me for a long time then we had normal casual drinks before he walked me back to my hotel. As we were saying goodbye, he hugged me very long and tight....in fact our goodbye lasted an hour. He said he knows i missed him and he thinks of me too, and that a present I gave him before he left the country was placed in his bedroom. He also told me not to tell him when i get married. He said too bad I am not from his culture nor live in the same country.We had a magical night together then I left his area. He did not contact me much as well. We have so much chemistry whenever we are together but we always only have a few hours together.....Should I pursue something here? Or just let it go and accept that it is not meant to be? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (25 May 2013):
 HI
I think you should let it go. He has made it pretty clear. Don't be his fallback girl for everytime he fancy's a booty call because thats what that was, a long goodbye bootycall which unfortunately you walked right into. I don't doubt he has feelings for you but your not his culture as he said, so why use you for anything else? wake up and smell the coffee here and let it be something you will always treasure. It's not meant to be and I doubt it ever will be. Harsh but true.
Mandy x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): This man is not serious about you given that you both lost touch and he has a long term girlfriend.If he wanted to be with you, he would cut ties with the other woman which is not that difficult considering there are no children involved.If I understand correctly, you only met up recently because you happened to be in his town? Convenient bit of fun on the side for him with low risk that his girlfriend would find out.Should you pursue it? I don't think he loves you enough to want to commit to you so no.As for the cultural differences - I'm in an interracial long term relationship and we're both from different countries. Our native languages / cultures may be different but when it comes to love we speak the same language. We have the same values. Your love interest is just giving you excuses.Don't let him occupy anymore of your thoughts and find someone who's worth it :-)
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