A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy intensely for 2 1/2 months now and I'm wondering if I should tell him more about my abusive ex. He knows my last boyfriend was an idiot, insecure and controlling, but I've mostly made light of it by not saying anything about the extent of it all and how I felt and recovered. I broke up with the guy nearly 2 years ago, so I am now mostly recovered and have found myself again, but I feel sometimes like I'm holding back from my new boyfriend and as though there is distance/something standing in between us. I wonder if I could be more open with him about what I think or feel if I tell him more about the ex. Though at the same time I wonder if that's just stuff he wouldn't want to know... I don't want to put him off or make him feel uncomfortable. He's a very perceptive guy though and I think he senses something is wrong and I'm holding back. I guess I'd like to know if you think telling him about my past would help us or if there's something else I should do to open up and get rid of this distance?
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female
reader, newbeauty25  +, writes (16 June 2010):
i'm sorry hun that you had to go through that .. but you just started dating this guy . dont reveal your past as of yet .. you would want to make you fully can turst him and he isnt one of them...
best wishes .... but not yet hun
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): whatever you do dont talk about your ex to a boyfriend that is the last thing a guy wants to hear they dont want to hear about you being with another guy i have learned that you have to leave the past in the past and treat every relationship like you have never been hurt before if you want to be closer to him do things he likes to do when he talks to you or others really listen to what he is saying maybe you will catch a hint in there try to spice things up in the bedroom but dont get to corny with it he really cares about you if he is still there after all this time all he really wants is to please you so let him while pleasing him at the same time
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): Yes if you love your new boyfriend an trust him that shows him that you don't keep secrets
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