A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I got to know a guy who's from Germany on a website for people to practise languages they're learning more than one year and a half.When I got to know him,he was quite busy cos of graduation,but we often had good chats with each other.Later on,I had to write my thesis while he finally had free time.He'd been inviting me to travel with him,however,we couldn't meet up for some reasons.During the summertime in 2009,I told him I sorta like him more than a friend,he didn't respond but still kept contact with me.Later on,he got a job at DB,hence he had a training in London,whereas I was busy preparing for an examination,he seemd a bit different at that moment,we sent sms via mobile phones,he once said he misses me.I have been sometimes emotionally because of him.During the two years,I've been sending him postcards/emails/Christmas presents/B-day presents.I just don't understand why he often says he feels he wouldn't have feelings for the women on the Internet.I told him I like him,but if he doesn't like me why he often contacts me ,isn't it torturing for me?:( though he never tried to start a conversation with me before I wrote him an email,telling him I hate the feeling it's always that I was the one who's so active,I was surprised,after the email,during the one year period time,he often contacts me on weekendays,while I never do that any longer.What I've been expecting is just an answer whether he likes me or not.A few times,he seemed to hesitate.We had several quarrels and his reactions made me feel sad and I cried a lotU_UI so wanted to stop having contact with him,each time I wanted do make a decision(he didn't know),he would do something to touch me,dunnot if it's called fate..sigh...I just forgave him ,simply thought ,ok,just be friends.Two months ago,I tried to piss him off,well,I know that sounds silly,I told him that my friends think he's an arrogant asshole in an email.He was angry and told me it was the end for him,saying it had been a waste of time for both of us.Well,after a day,he contacted me again.Even nowadays,we still keep in touch on msn/skype,we've seen each other on webcam recently.Although I'm going to study in the Netherlands,which's so close to Germany,I don't wnat to meet him in person anymore honestly speaking.I just feel I've been so stupid:(and I feel upset about him,cos he doesn't seem to do much.last time,I told him that I might not have time when i am in the Netherlands...he still didn't get it...he even asked me to call him once I arrive there...pssf,why does he seem to care about me whilst he doesn't have feelings for me?Guess what he said!He said he wants to know what's happening in my life and he feels that he should take care of me.I'm confused...I wanted to meet him before...should I not meet him in person when I'm in Europe?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (7 July 2010):
 Well, I don't think it's a great idea to meet him. It seems like all he wants to do is get into bed with you a few times, and then dump you.
But you should think about it. It's your life, and you have to use your own judgement.
Tell him that you have found a boyfriend and that he's the jealous type. That he doesn't want anyone else to talk to you.
Usually, that's all guys want. To have sex with young women, and then decide if they want anything more to do with them.
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