A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up about two weeks ago after 2 years together. I think we both knew it was coming because he was increasingly distant and trying to be more independent (by blowing me off) and I was increasingly worrying and picking silly fights over everything.During the breakup, he gave me an impression that he didnt want me to give up on him yet, he just didn't know what he wanted and needed to do this. It came after yet another stupid fight that blew up too, so it wasn't like he had been planning on doing it and did it out of the blue.In a moment of weakness the other night, (and yes, alcohol was definitely involved), I checked his e-mail thinking maybe I would see something like him telling someone he missed me, or something like that. Instead I found a correspondence with a friend that took place a week after the breakup about how he was having a girl over, they'd been having fun conversations, but that no one else should know because of me. I don't know how to feel. I don't think this was going on while we were together...but I don't know what to even think. It was absolutely wrong to check it, and I obviously would never tell him I did that or do it again, but at this point what's done is done and I can't change my actions.Is this something that is "normal" for guys to do? I can't help but think it reflects on how much he actually cared about me, and I feel totally strung along, used and insignificant. Everyone keeps telling me that he was so obviously dating "up" with me, even some of his friends, and that he's going to wake up one day and totally regret letting me go, but I can't even imagine that he even misses me or thinks of me if he can so quickly have sexy convos with another girl and want to sleep with her a week after we were done! He actually contacted me via facebook chat yesterday with a silly comment about the snowstorm (as we live in PA). At this point I am ready to move on, but I was hoping some guys could give me their perspective on what this means, and help me feel a little better. If in the off chance he ever decided he wanted me back, I don't think I would want to, but how can you forgive someone for doing something like that?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (21 December 2009):
 If you are ready to move on as you say, then why are you posting this question.
Move on, by moving on. Not by looking back.
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (21 December 2009):
 This works both ways it happenes to guys to look you basically need closure if thats possble and your bold enough to seek it would sugest stop playing teenage games using facebook and just call him ask him what ever you need to ask him to eel better you might not like his answers but atleast you will know what they are. Ask him if he still thinks about you ask whatever you want then when your done walk away and never turn back close that chapter in your life
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009): He slept with someone else after only a week after you split, and you're snooping through his emails. It seems to me he does know what he wanted, and had probably decided he wanted to be with someone else whilst you were still together, hense why he was being distant. Time to move on sweetie, and eventually you'll meet someone and have a better relationship having learnt from any mistakes from this one. Take care.
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A
female
reader, 127508 +, writes (21 December 2009):
 um two words, yes mamm!
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