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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My question has a little bit of history behind it. So about eight years ago I was at the eight month mark dating a boyfriend when I was in my early twenties and he cheated on me with his best female friend so we broke up and a few weeks later I slept with her boyfriend. It was only once, but then I found out I was pregnant. We'll call my at the time boyfriend j and the other guy g. G is part Hispanic, me and j are white with blue eyes. Anyways, when I told j I was pregnant, as well as g, I made it clear that I thought it would be g's, but he disappeared and I never heard from him again. J begged to get back together and said he wanted to be dad no matter what so I let him sign the birth papers. We broke up shortly after I gave birth to my brown eyed daughter but he still came around and claimed her. She loves his other two kids, cries when she misses him, and his family claims her ass their own. However, he's in and out of jail now days and hooked on hard drugs. He's never done anything for her, but has her heart. So it's two dead beat dad's and one kid. I know I know, I was wild back then. G has about four other kids and different mother's for them. One asked me tonight if my daughter and her son could meet. I'm not sure what to do. I've mentioned on a few occasions to my now seven year old that another guy is her real dad but she loves the other one who is strung out and not doing much. Should I introduce her to her biological siblings?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 July 2017):
 But how can you be 100% sure she is G's daughter, are you basing it only on the fact that she has brown eyes. You need to act carefully hear. A child at this age can be fragile you don't want to do lasting damage. First thing you should do is get DNA sorted then you can move forward from there. If her dad is on drugs then no he is not a good role model and if he cannot become clean for his children then he deserves no contact. Yes this is difficult for your little girl but thankfully she has you.
A
female
reader, Miss.Cupid  +, writes (14 July 2017):
 your daughter only being 7 I'm sure she doesnt see it as a big deal of who her father is. But I'm sure it'll matter to her when she's older. The last thing you want is her hating you when she's older for never letting her see her real father.
Your life in the past was super messy and out of control. But you now have a beautiful daughter that deserves the best. If I were you I'd introduce you to her father, I'm sure she'll love him just as much if not more as the other guy. It's the right thing to do.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (13 July 2017):
 It depends how safe it is to do so. It's not the siblings' fault you chose two irresponsible flakes to be her possible father and why on earth did you think revenge sex (sleeping with his best friend's boyfriend) didn't make you just as bad?
Anyway, keep any meeting in public to start with. I think you should only allow positive influences around her - no criminals, junkies, etc.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (12 July 2017):
 Let me put the question back to you and perhaps then you will be nearer the right answer.
Why would you not want them to meet?
Can you come up with good reasons why they shouldn't meet? If so then you have your answer.
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