A
female
age
30-35,
*ilemmagirl
writes:hi to all, i'm eighteen and my boyfriend's twenty. we had a number of quarrels always over the same old problem; girls. everything was so perfect in our relationship, no flaws, nothing at all. that's when it aroused my suspicion. i decided to check his facebook and to my astonishment, i saw him sending messages to girls aand giving out his email/handphone number to the girls and hoping they will drop him a text (the dates were this year). i was so frightened at that moment, because i couldn't believe what i saw is my boyfriend's doing. i confronted him and initially, he denied that it was him sending those messages. he blamed it on facebook that it might have bugs and it might been hacked. still, i don't buy his story. i asked him again if it was sent by him. in the end, he admitted but he said those messages were sent in the past not this year, and he don't know why the dates appear to be this year. what should i do people, i am so confused. next, he always message girls with those good morning/night messages with those nice phrases and stuffs. but why not to me? he even sent it to my best friend? should i be worried or am i just being too paranoid? i confronted him again, of course. and he asked me whether do i trust him or not, he said he is just sending like a concern to a friend is that wrong? but the things that he done, i cannot feel the love in it. it's like when i told him i don't really like it when he message other girls, he will just reply with a, "ok." not even an assurance word from him. tell me, how do i trust him again? help please! and , i love him so much that i don't know how to let go. i asked advices from my friends as well and they told me to leave him cause deserve someone better but, i just couldn't let go. am i being too silly in this relationship of not letting go? is there another way of looking at this relationship without letting go and both of us can still be happy? ):
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female
reader, dilemmagirl +, writes (19 August 2009):
dilemmagirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question but he's currently serving NS and as you guys know, being in NS can be quite boring sometimes so maybe i shouldn't restrict him so much about the way he make friends with? hmmm, i really have no idea. there was once that i couldn't hold back any longer, i decided to break up with him and also told him not to play with my feelings if he's ain't true to me. i'm sick and tired of holding on like a fool and if he wants to flirt around or whatsoever, just tell me and leave me alone. i don't wanna be part of it. but he told me that he love me alot and he cherish our relationship as much as i do, he don't wish to see me leaving him. neither do i. how do i know if he is speaking the truth? it's like, i can no longer differentiate which sentence he said is the truth. please help! ):
* his mother is very good to me and dotes me too and he's the only child in the family. as his mother don't really understand English, he doesn't know what he did online and stuffs. in front of his mum and me, he may be a good boy. but behind our back, what will he become to? )))):
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): He's immature. He thinks about himself. His right girl is one who puts up with it. Unfortunately you are way better than him. He will have lots of other issues too. I bet his mother mostly gives her son attention and every-one else is in the background. Some-times she'll defend others, but mostly him. He wont grow up much. Ever. A bit of a party boy, a bit irresponsible. You love him cause he's fun to be around at times. These guys if at your parents will tell your parents problems they have with you, but you can't with their mums. That's where these types come from. Has his mother let you get close to her? Tell her the problem and see how the whole family reacts to you. Because if you have a child in the future, that's how they will react over issues.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): He does not have any respect for you. Learn how to stand up for yourself and not allow yourself to be disrespected, the same types of things will continue to happen……no matter who you are with at the time.
You have to be the one to stop the bad treatment. You are special. You have wants and needs. You have feelings and opinions that should be cherished. Just make sure that your significant other realizes that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): That guy sounds like an asshole. There is nothing wrong with facebook, the facebook dates are right. He is messaging other girls WHILE being with you, and even after you told him to stop he continues. Leave him, there are plenty of good guys out there. That guy does not sound like one...
You deserve so much better
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