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female
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anonymous
writes: I went out with a guy I've known all my life. He has his head on straight, knows what he wants out of life, Has 2 jobs, going to a University with honnors, has plans for the future. Our relationship lasted for about 3 years. But I came to realize he wasn't in love with me anymore, had nothing in common, And I was falling for someone else. 10 months later I'm with that amazing guy I was falling for. The only thing is he won't get his GED, won't get a job, isn't sure of anything, and has a bad backround. I've tried everything to get him in gear. He treats me right and loves me very much. I've never completly got over my ex though. And he's falling in love with me again. Should I leave a guy who might be living with his parents all of his life for a guy who has his head on straight?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell Guys here I am still standing between these two guys. Thank you for your answers they have all shown me HOW to make a disition. Last night My ex called & tols me I have to make a disition by the 4th. What kind of person is that!? He said if I can't have you for good, I dont want you in my life anymore. I cried for hours. By him not being in my life, then I would loose his family also. & I've been around them my entire life. I know I don't want to be with my ex right now. I want to be with my current boyfriend & maybe get back with my ex in the far future. But for him to make me choose NOW! You can't set a time limit on love & relationships. Please keep giving me responses. I thank ALL of you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell Guys here I am still standing between these two guys. Thank you for your answers they have all shown me HOW to make a disition. Last night My ex called & tols me I have to make a disition by the 4th. What kind of person is that!? He said if I can't have you for good, I dont want you in my life anymore. I cried for hours. By him not being in my life, then I would loose his family also. & I've been around them my entire life. I know I don't want to be with my ex right now. I want to be with my current boyfriend & maybe get back with my ex in the far future. But for him to make me choose NOW! You can't set a time limit on love & relationships. Please keep giving me responses. I thank ALL of you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2006): I'm guessing its safe to say your boyfriend is not a teenager? At his age and with no job and not even a will to get a job? Sorry to break it to you if you dont already know but this guy's a total deadbeat! How long are you gonna put up with lame presents and none of the finer things in life like a nice holiday every now and then or even a place for yourselves?I agree with your ex probably just wanting you back for the time being cos he's lost you. I would advise going back to him. But for crying out loud, are there no other guys within 30miles of your location or something? Go for someone else altogether. There you go, a simple solution to a simple problem
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (23 June 2006):
 I truly hate that statement,"an ex is an ex for a reason". But the same people will tell you "if you love someone let them go and if they come back then their yours forever". Blah, Blah, Blah. Fact of the matter you love your current boyfriend but he hasn't got his stuff together and that bothers you. In the long run everyone wants security. If you stay with him and he doesn't get it together you will end up resenting him.
Now your ex. You said you never got over him. You said he wasn't in love with you anymore. Maybe that time wasn't the right time for him to be with you. Myself being a focused individual I sometimes lose focus on the outside world when I have a goal in mind. Yes some things in your life will suffer but life is about sacrifices. He sacrificed his love for his career. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you or fell out of love with you. Now he loves you again so you say. He never stopped. You don't miss your water until your well runs dry. He knows what he had and wants that back.
No matter who you choose you have to realize people are who they are and you can't change someone because thats what you want. People change when they are no longer content with who they are and what they are doing. Your current boyfriend needs to understand that you are serious about his advancement and your ex needs to understand that you also need the same love and attention as his 2 jobs and his schooling. Don't lose site of your own needs because of someone else's short comings. To thy own self be true. Much Luck.
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