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Should I leave my boyfriend when he needs me the most?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Health, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 July 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 July 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Should I break up with my boyfriend?

I've been with him now for a year and a couple months and I feel like most of the time he tries to joke with me and doesn't know how to be romantic or sexy. We barely have sex anymore. He's always too tired and if we do he never tries to please me or he wants to skip foreplay all together. He bought a book months ago on cunnilingus but he hasn't even opened it and we went to a how to eat a peach class at fascinations but he still hasn't tried those moves. I feel like he's totally selfish in the bedroom. I just feel so unfulfilled. and when I try to bring this up to him he gets so defensive and upset and it's not worth even bringing it up anymore. It just sucks because I'm not much of a masturbater. I keep thinking about my past sex lives and missing that.

Also I'm worried that we have no future together he works a steady job in a growing company but I've been trying to help him go back to school. He said he wanted to go but now he doesn't want to put the effort it. I love him but I haven't introduced him to my parents yet...and maybe it's because I'm ashamed...

To top things off I just went on a 5 day trip and when I came back he was drunk and telling me he's seeing and hearing things lately. And that he worries about his mental health. All his friends have been drifting lately he lives alone and I'm all he has. Kind of weird but I think he's starting to become schizophrenic.

I'm worried I do more for him than he does for me. I'm worried he'd hurt herself if I left him though. He treats me so well in the way that he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me or betray my trust and accepts my past and my life but I can't help but think I can do better. He wants to spend the rest of his life with me and I thought I did too. I'm not sure if I can settle anymore.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011):

Your boyfriend needs to seek mental health treatment immediately if there's even a remote possibility that he's schizophrenic. Try talking to him about getting help. Mental health hospitals do free evaluations on a walk-in basis. If he truly needs medical attention, they can admit him or help him get an appointment with a psychiatrist.

I think you're right about needing to break up -- although you feel he loves you and treats you well, you are not happy in this relationship. It is unfortunate that this coincides with the onset of his problems, but you aren't required to see him through the treatment or anything.

Best of luck.

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