A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am hopelessly crushing on this girl V who I "met" on the internet through an online writing/art community. We bonded through our common interests and really hit it off, and she's the only person I've wanted for the past year now. I know she really likes me as an online friend. For instance, I recently visited Hong Kong. She’d been there a few years ago, and pointed out her favorite spots so I could visit them (and I did). Afterwards, she was gushing about how wonderful it was that we’d been to the same places. We used to have lots of moments like that, but who knows what they mean online? So whether she likes me as more than a friend, or even enough to really meet me in person (we live in different countries, that's another issue) ... well, I have no idea. And the comm we're part of is NOT a dating community, so I have no idea how to pursue this "relationship" further. Recently, we decided to “move up” from emailing each other to voice-chatting, but she hasn’t been online since I added her to my voice-chat contact list. This has made me irrationally paranoid and doubtful (I keep thinking she’s ignoring me, etc.). In the meantime, I’ve noticed that V has recently become much closer with another member of our online comm—they’re constantly messaging each other and talking about meeting up (I know because they’ve discussed this in public posts), which has made me unreasonably jealous and depressed. Even if we never had a chance romantically, I still feel like I’m losing a special friend. And I keep wondering whether I did something wrong, whether I wasn't open enough about how much she means to me (as a friend, that is), etc. Anyway, my unreasonable mood swings over this have made me want to re-evaluate the situation; I feel like I’m in the middle of a silly high school infatuation again. Should I just be patient and continue waiting for things to progress naturally? Am I wasting my time pouring so much emotion and energy into an internet obsession that might just be unhealthy fantasy on my part (after all, how well can I say I really know someone when we’ve only emailed and IMed each other), when I could be trying to date real people in my area? I don’t want to end our friendship, but this is driving me a little insane.
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female
reader, samohir  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Do you have any real chance to meet her? Somehow, anyhow? I think that would help... Dont let this to stay only in ur mind.. It difficult after some time, you ll be asking urself WHat if , If would I??? Had this before, was on distance, but i wanted to met the guy ... I couldnt coz of too much obligations and he dissapeared, well sometghimes i wonder how would have been if had been...
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