A
female
age
36-40,
*acyml
writes:Hello...I am a lesbian and my ex girlfriend and I are trying to be together again. We were together in 2008, for a little over 9 months. Through this time she went to alcohol and drug rehab, and I myself was going through a recovery process too. The timing of our relationship was horrible and we definitely had our ups and downs. Mostly downs. But we got to know each other to a fault. The passion in our relationship, wasn't ever really there. But, our love ran deep.I wasn't ready to settle down, and give all of myself to her at this time. Because I thought that unless there was passion the relationship wasn't meant to be. We eventually broke up, after fight after fight. And now, a year and a half later, my attitude and thought process has changed. So we're potentially trying again. But she seems to be completely unsure, and shut off, and I just don't know what to believe or think. In person, she says she wants to work towards an "us." But, when I am not around her, she "isn't sure." Her family doesn't accept the gay concept, and it's hard for her to deal with that. I know she is fighting with that as well.We get along great now. And we have a lot of fun together. In my heart she is the only person that truly understands me, as well me to her. Through the years she has become my best friend. But, it's hard for us, to "just be friends." We've tried that too.I guess I just need some advice as to what direction I should take, or if I should just leave the pieces on the floor, and move on?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (1 July 2009):
 All love isn't good love. You can love someone with all our heart but that doesn't mean the other person is the right person for you. I believe that if the other person can't open up to you and give you their heart, you will always feel a little lonely, hurt, and frustrated inside.
Even though it is painful, I feel that you need to move on. Perhaps later in life, once she has some years of recovery under her belt, you can reconnect.
Good luck.
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