A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I will pare this down to the most essential elements.Me: 29 year old female. In high school I was the smart, funny but overweight girl, who had friends but never a boyfriend. He: My major crush in high school, goodlooking, funny and charming. After high school, I lost a lot of weight, and we hooked up a couple of times (only make out sessions, we were both into some weird religious bullshit). He got married to someone else shortly after and had a child.About two years into their marriage, we started emailing each other (he started) and we wrote to each other constantly, our maximum was 50 times a day. However, I was still very insecure about my looks, and didn't believe for a second that he could be interested in me, given that he was married. We never spoke about meeting up in person. I may have been a little naive. He is now divorced.Okay, so the situation is this. For the last year, we have been writing every single day - our record now is 72 emails in one day - and innumerable text messages and phone calls. We have not met in all this time - I am still very insecure about my weight.He leaves me with no doubt as to the fact that he likes me, makes a lot of sexual innuendos and we basically joke around a lot and talk about serious things too, but a lot of it centers upon how much we like each other. I am in my last semester of law school and need to concentrate and can't rush out to meet him.NOW, the problem tonight is that he has been posting pictures of himself and his ex (not his wife) talking at a party and of her at his place on Facebook. I know I can't demand him not to, and I don't think he's doing this maliciously, but I can't help but feel sad. On one hand he talks about me as his best friend, his soul mate, how we were always meant for each other, etc. He has been there for me in many many ways in the 15 years I have known him! And on the other hand, he insists that he "happened to be at a party with my ex, and someone posted pictures of us talking". Am I expecting too much? Should I just go cold turkey and not write him any more? Keep in mind that we have a super long history, we ARE soul mates on some level, and have always been very close.
View related questions:
best friend, crush, divorce, facebook, his ex, insecure, my ex, overweight, soul mates, soulmate, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): If he felt the same as you, nothing would have stopped him from making arrangements to see you by this time and after that many emails. After all he does socialize, or he wouldn't be seen with an ex. While you can't make time to go out on a date, he had plenty of opportunities to suggest he bring you coffee or a bite to eat while you study.
I know this hurts and I don't know why men feel it's acceptable to give mixed signals and play with emotions. I don't know if it's a power thing or they just don't get it.
|
