A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met my boyfriend this January during exchange study. Then the following seven months, we spent almost all of our time together. Then during our final month, I went back to his country and met his family and friends. We are each other first serious love, so it was really a heartbroken moment when I had to go back home.Before I left, we decided we would just break up and be friends. Also, he said that he was unsure about long-distance relationship since our relationship was developed too fast and he did not really have the "butterfly feeling" nor "crazy in love feeling" for me, but insisted he "likes" me a lot.But after I was back, we were not able to talk just like "friends", so we kinda agree on we will just keep on talking like before, giving kisses and saying "i miss you". I'm very happy whenever we talk, but I'm really unsure about if I'm wasting my time. I know that he doesn't like me as much as I like him. I'm always the one who initiate calls/text/skype, especially I'm in a timezone hours ahead of him and I always want to call him after I finished my day. I really want to try to make things work. But he never really put in any effort, because we are not sure if we'll be able to be together in the future, he doesn't want to make any promise to me and possibly disappoint me. I have sent him mails about my feelings, but I don't know if he has really read through it. I don't want to stress him too much as I did that before and we almost broke up. (I admitted my mistakes of blaming and stressing him too much before, so I don't want him to think I'm like that again)I know he likes me and cares about me a lot, but he never tell me how he feels and what he wants us to be. Also, I don't know if he has tried to understand why I get upset sometimes even though I know most of the time I'm the one who caused argument. I don't need him to agree on the reason why I get upset, I just want him to understand it without thinking I'm unreasonable.I'm planning to move to Europe next year and though different countries, we'll at least be in the same timezone. He knows it but he kept discouraging me from doing it because he thinks I do it for him as I've never told him my plan before. This act actually kinda annoyed me though I know he just doesn't want me to make such an important choice for him. It's actually a decision I made long ago and what he did makes me feel like he thinks I'm totally crazy that I want to uproot my life for him, who I have known less than one year.Anyway, I really don't know what should I do, should I just be patient and see if we'll understand each other more one day or I should just give this up. I don't want to nag him about it but I really want to know what he thinks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): You should be patient. But at the same time don't wait to long or nag him. Just try and courage yourself to tell him. I had the same thing happen before but that was years ago. So good luck!
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