A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: So me and an old fling have been "seeing each other" for the past month.. not weekly.. but here and there. He told me he wanted to date but he doesn't want to get married; on our date he called me babe (never did before) and also said he wants to make me happy; ran into him at a bar and when i spoke to one of his friends he asked his friend "what are you saying to my girlfriend?"; i fed him cereal (drunk) and he asked me if i would do the same when we were married; and in his 'drunken state' he said he loved me (he told me this last year too. But we ended things. And when I asked him if he thought of me as a fling in the past, he said he always thought of me as a girlfriend). We got into a fight (a big misunderstanding.. of course in our drunk states) and he text me in the morning to apologize. He kept saying he was sorry. The fight is irrelevant.. but I think his actions the next day (like apologizing) showed me how much he does care about me. I'm so terrified to ask him if he wants to be more serious (because I feel like if he wanted to be more serious, he would be the one to instigate it) but from his actions, it seems like he things we are already more serious. Should I just ask him? Or am I reading his actions wrong?
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (1 July 2010):
Unfortunately, when you are "afraid" to ask somebody because you are unsure on how he will react, that is not usually a good sign. From what you told us, I am seeing a lot of red flags in your relationship and it has already ended once. Personally, I think the "romantic desire" is what is drawing you two to each other, but that is it. I don't see him being the type to make a long term commitment.
Somebody who only tells you certain things when he's drunk and gives off a lot of mixed signals just seems like trouble. I'd steer clear if I were you....
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