A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I both want kids, he is of the mind set that he doesn't want to TRY and conceive, he would like it to just ... Happen . Without too much stress. He would be happy if I turned around tomorrow and told him I was pregnant. A little bit freaked about responsibility but only a natural thing. He really would prefer to just be told : you're gonna be a daddy! Then to turning sex into a chore by scheduling it in line with fertile days etc...Thing is, I'm on birth control. We have talked and he said we should get pregnant by my 31st birthday! next April...but it could take months to get back to normal after BC and he seemed a bit freaked when I said I should stop it now! Would it be a terrible thing if I went off my BC now without telling him? I know the answer already I guess! (YES it would be bad) but it would be nice to hear your opinions!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 November 2014):
 The first time I wanted to get pregnant I got pregnant ASAP
the second time it took two cycles..
my one friend took 12 YEARS to get pregnant.
you never know...
you need to be off of BCP for about 3 months before you start trying
IF you go off of BCP what will you use for birth control without him knowing? I doubt you can pull that off...
I think you should tell him that your concern is it will take longer than he thinks.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 November 2014):
 Definitely tell him first.
It took me 12 months (almost to the day) from stopping the pill till I got pregnant. But I have heard others who managed at the next cycle after ending the pills.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2014): Yes it would be a bad idea. Why do you say he would be freaked out at first? Has he said this? I wouldnt proceed with such a huge decision until you both are on the exact same page about this. And it would be better to be married first, if you arent already. You still have time for a baby, please dont rush this massive step in your life
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2014): How does he think it's going to happen naturally by next April if you're still on the pill? It can take a while for your body to be ready again, or you could fall pregant within a week of stopping no one knows.
If he wants to be a dad, then just come off birth control but SPEAK to him. You're in this together so you need to communicate, why did he panic when you spoke of coming off birth control now when he is saying he wants you to be expecting by next April, it's six months away it could take that long - or longer.
You just need to talk about things and get questions and worries out in the open now.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (2 November 2014):
 I would be matter of fact about it and just remind him that you'll have to stop taking the pill in order to become pregnant and leave it at that. You don't need to scare him with a long, deep, drawn out conversation about it.
Keep it brief, light and matter of fact. He's made it clear he wants children and wants it to happen naturally and any time so you don't need his response. Going about your business will prevent him from feeling cornered into giving you one. If he feels compelled to say anything he can come back to you later on after he's had a chance to digest the implications.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (2 November 2014):
Yes, why are you asking if you know??????
These decisions should be made together.
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