A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright, where to start. I'm 16 and i've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. He's from a different state than I am. We met on Myspace and just got to know eachother. We thought we might try a relationship out just to see how it would work out, because from the beggining we both felt something. About 3 months after we got together officially, he got into a fight with his parents and bought a bus ticket to where i live. He was 16 almost 17 at the time. He didn't tell his parents where he was, and when he called them they didn't seem to care if he came home or not. He stayed with me for about a year and then went back to where he lives, because he missed his family and was always worrying about them. When he got home his family was happy, i guess. Now this is the tough part. Okay, he's 18 years old now and legal, has been for quite a few months now. Were still COMPLETELY in love, even though we haven't been together in about 8 months. We talk all the time and everything. Anyways, his family is a different race and religion than i am. I'm white and they're Punjabi and their religion is Sikh. So, apparently he's supposed to be with a Punjabi/Sikh girl. I've pretty much known that from the beggining but neither of us worried about it up until recently. He has told me there's a chance his family will never want to talk to him again if they found out. He's not too sure about that though.He was supposed to be here on Valentines day and tell his family about me. So, he called me the day he was supposed to tell them and told me he couldn't work up the courage. He didn't say he would never be able to tell them, just he can't tell them now, no matter how bad he wants to. In september, i gave him till Valentines day to be back here. So, he pretty much was like,'i have about 4 months that i dont got to think about it and i can worry about it later.'. He admitted that was wrong.He really was ready to tell them, or at least he thought so. He quit his job and everything, because he really thought he would be able to. I'll admit, i pressured him a whole lot for him to get here, now realize that wasn't the right thing. I know in my heart we can make this work if his family knew about me and accepted me. We never fight, were always laughing! I just have this feeling were meant to be, but my worrying is getting the best of me and now im starting to question it. I really cannot picture myself with anybody else. He's my whole world.This isn't some dumb, immature, teenage relationship like some are. We really do love each other, so i would appreciate it if you took it seriously. But he loves his family too, of course. Which i completely understand. I want them to know im not trying to ruin anything they have and im not trying to take him away from them, i just want everyone to be happy that were happy, and be happy for us. By the way, my family adores him! Just to let you know I told him i would wait for him, and that I wouldn't give him a date to be here this time and that i wouldn't pressure him so much. I feel, or felt like this was the right thing to do, because I love him so much,i'm still willing to wait, and give him time and not pressure him, you know.So finally, my question is, what should I do? Should I give him another chance and not pressure him so much? Should i give up? (He hasn't given up and has told me countless times that he doesn't want to break up and that he still wants to be with me.)So yeah, I dont know what to do anymore. I love him so much and would do anything for us to work out. He makes me happy and he says i do the same for him. I just don't know how to handle this. And i would rather get the advice from strangers than my friends and stuff, because they think im dumb for waiting, but they dont understand how much he means to me and how much i love him.By the way if your Pujabi/Sikh and could answer my question, I would more than appreciate it. I dont mean to offend you in anway, if I did i'm sorry. Thank you for reading this, and answering =P
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for reading and answering =)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): This is a difficult one because however much he loves you and wants to be with you.. religion can be a big barrier for a relationship, ecspecially punjabi/sikh/muslim etc. He could want to be with you 110% but you have to remember that marrying out of their culture can cause alot of shame and disgrace against them and their family. Thats no offence to you personally, it's just the fact that your white/not their religion
I would wait for him to see what his outcome is, i wouldnt wait for an excess amount of time though, dont pressure him, but kind of give him say three months to decide what hes doing, you've already given him from september to feb you said? And its probably very difficult for him, but you cant wait around forever, you have to get on with your life aswell.
Always remember, if its meant to be..it'll be. So if he turns around in 3 months and says he cant do it, it's probably not personally at you.. just his religion.
Good Luck Hun! X x
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