A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have recently been contacted by an ex girlfriend, whom I haven't seen for 7 years. We have met up a couple of times recently and seem to get on as well as we always did, but I'm unsure if I should try to get back together with her or just move on.We initially dated for a short period, only about a month, then she split up with me to get with another guy, one of my good friends at the time, which greatly upset me. I then went off traveling for several months and we stayed in contact throughout that time by email. When I returned, we met up again, continued emailing and remained intimate in writing. She was still together with the guy she left me for, and I finally told her I wanted her back 3 months after my return. She thanked me for telling her, but told me she was happy with him and wasn't interested. At this point I could no longer take the pain and upset and so cut all contact. It took me quite a while to get over. I was only 21 and she was 18 at the time, and I wonder if things may be different now we have both grown up a little, or if the damage done in the past is too great/I risking too much hurt again and should just quietly disappear and move on...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008):
Move on. Throw her to the curb.
You put your cards on the table and she turned you away... don't let her waste any more of your time and put her through what you've already had to go through because of her.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (27 February 2008):
 She seems flighty to me and a bit like the type of person who just uses people and then throws them away. I think you're better off not going down that path again. It will surely not have a happy ending I fear.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): has anything happened to make you think she is contacting you with the hope of getting back together? She may just be curious about how you are doing. but if she has said she wants to try again, and you feel you would like to then i think you should do it but take things slowly and be careful. She was only 18. Shes 25 now. Who ISNT a different person at those two ages? 7 years is a long time and a lot can happen in that time. Don't put yourself out there though unless you are sure that is what she wants and why she is contacting you again. It's very possible shes one of those girls who just likes men to want her and is wondering if she still has the control over you she had all those years ago. I don't know her so i couldnt possibly say which it is but always trust your instincts and if you do try again with her, take it very slowly. You need to get to know her all over again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): I personally would move on. I mean of course things might be different now. If you do get with her, its possible that this time around, you will have the upper hand. I mean anything is possible. The reason I say I wouldn't is because I personally don't like to dwell on the past. And if I reconciled with somebody of my past, it would only be with somebody who never hurt me and who I truly loved. I personally would never reconcile with somebody who hurt me. Partly its pride but a large part is because I don't want to risk being taken for a fool twice. And even though things might be different in your favor, they also might not be different at all. And knowing what you already know, that is a chance I would not take again.
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