A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:how do i kno if my ex-boyfriend still likes me?? well my exboyfriend is 17 and im 14, he broke up with me 3 weeks ago, and we went out for about 3 weeks. the reason why he broke up with me was because he is going to the army. but i still have feelings for him and he keeps on flirting with me, like he still calls me honey, baby, and stuff like that, and he is always hugging me, nd holding my hand, also he's always kissing me on the cheek. i kno it kinda sounds like he likes me but i dont know if its better to forget about him cuz he is going to the army, or get back with him but i dont know how long are we going to last. what do i do?? help please!!
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female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 He will change a lot during the time he spends in the army, and he will be a completely different person when he returns.
Don't "forget" him. He's obviously special to you and there's no reason he shouldn't remain special. Be his friend, and let him be yours. Write to him and tell him you are thinking about him and about what he's doing - but don't "wait for him". He's thinking about you and your future when he made the decision to break up - and, of course, you need to be realistic. Quite apart from the dangers of being in the army, soldiers are (mostly) going to try new things wherever they get posted. If he goes somewhere like Germany where there is little risk of being injured (I'm assuming that the US army still maintains bases in Germany? It's a long time since I was involved with the military) then there are other distractions that may not be a danger to him but are certainly a danger to any relationship. Unless he is a very unusual man, he is most definitely not going to remain "faithful" to any girlfriend left behind. The stress of being a soldier, warzone or not, carries with it the desire for comfort when it's available, and that comfort can't be provided by someone thousands of miles away. It's not easy being an army wife or husband, and far more difficult to be an army girlfriend or boyfriend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): He may not want you to be hurt if something were to happen to him. No doubt he will be sent to either Iraq or Afghanistan.
It sounds like he really likes you allot. when he is in the military, and going through basic training, there will be little or no ability to contact people off the base. When he has his job notice, he will be stationed somewhere. If he were in say Germany, it is possible that he could have a wife join him.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (29 April 2008):
Being an army girlfriend is the hardest thing in the world. Trust me on this I'm an army wife.
When they first join up they get sent off for basic training which is basically getting beaten down and built up again for 12 weeks. He'll be a changed man at the end of it.
Then most likely he'll get posted to somewhere hundreds of miles away, and then he could get sent to Iraq or Afghanistan.
Do you really want a relationship that means you get to talk to him on the phone once a week, and write letters and emails to him? Do you want that constant fear that he could come home with no legs, or arms, or horribly burned, or dead?
Does he want a relationship like that?
I think he did you a favour by ending it. He didn't break up with you because he didn't like you, he did it because he didn't want either of you to go through that.
it only worked for me because I met mine when I was in my 20's and when he was more settled in his career. It was still really hard though. Mine is off to Iraq next month and I am terrified.
I wouldn't volunteer to go through that if I were you.
Stay friends with this guy and write to him when you can. It'll really make his life nicer. But don't add the pressure by being his girlfriend and have him worrying about you at home.
Move on but stay friends. You never know, in a few years he might leave the army and come back for you if you are single then.
Good Luck!! xx
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