A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:At the beginning of summer I talked to a friend of mine a lot and we started flirting. I couldn't really tell if it was that kind of joke flirting friends do with each other, but it was very real for me, and when I showed my best friend some of the messages she said it seemed very real to her.Me and her are both bi - we've both spoken about it, and she was saying loads of really cute things to me. We even joked about having a 'ship' name and needing a synonym for cute because we used it so often. We were talking about going for a walk together (which my best friend said sounded very much like a date).Then one night during summer I had a breakdown and sent her some messages while I was basically hysterical and I really needed to talk to someone. These freaked her out a bit and she told me that she couldn't talk about death and she was really sorry.I asked her if she still wanted to go for this walk and she said she didn't think she was up to it.We then didn't speak for a while.Until I saw her put on twitter that she didn't feel like she had any real friends (she'd stopped hanging around with her best friend because she wasn't being very nice to her) so I messaged her saying that I was really sorry I'd freaked her out, that I didn't mean to and that I was 100% there for her and was her friend if she still wanted me to be. She messaged me back saying that it wasn't my fault. That she has problems trusting people and didnt fully trust her ex best friend despite having been friends with her for so long, that it was her that had the problem and not to think that it was my fault.We then didn't talk until we got back to school, where we pretended that nothing had happened. We were even a little icy for a few days and she was hanging around with someone I used to be friends with until we got talking in one lesson and it was like old times. I was starting to think that she was upset with me or hated me but then we were talking fine.She then got tickets to a concert I really wanted to go to and got me a ticket so her parents are taking us and another of our friends to this concert so I dont think she hates me.I'm just paranoid all the time about upsetting people and I really like this girl and I don't know what to do. Should I confront her about it and ask what was going on or wait for her to say something in her own time? She's not very confrontational so if I want something to happen I have to make the first move. I'm just terrified of messaging her first, and I can never get her alone because m ex friend is always there.Thanks
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 October 2014):
 Oll it went on Twitter that makes it important..by allmeans do what you said and make the first move. Perhaps you could tweet or facebook. That will fix it all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2014): You answered your own question there, doll, "if I want something to happen I have to make the first move".
If you want something, you should find out how to get it. You said at the start of the summer you were flirting, do you still do that or has that ended? Maybe flirt with her again, set the seed and ask her on a date. Jump in with both feet, the worst that could happen is that you remain friends and nothing more, just go for it, it could be a good thing.
Good luck, doll :)
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