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Should I be ready for the big let down?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 July 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 July 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, *heff writes:

Ok so to those of you who saw my first question, she wasn't cheating, but she did want time off. For those of you who didn't see it, I have been with this girl for 3 years. She left for the summer to work, and I probably became a little overbearing. I called a lot and always wanted her to call me when she got home from parties. She said she liked the fact that I was jealous, but I may have taken it a little too far.

I recently figured out just how much I want to be with her, and she decided she wants time off. She says she still loves me, but wants to be sure she is in love with me. She still wants to spend time together, and still wants me to do stuff with her family. She said she still wants to hold my hand and hug and kiss and stuff like that, but she just doesn't want to be tied down right now.

So my question is, should I just be ready for the really big let down, or is hope worth having? Will it work out if I'm able to back off and give her some space? Is there anything I can do to help get her feeling back to the way they once were? She said she loves me but she wants to be sure she is in love with me and that I'm the one. Is this break a good thing? Thanks in advance.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010):

You are plan "B" in case something else she has in mind doesn't work out. Sorry...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010):

she obviously doesn't want to lose you since she still wants you around and still wants you to hug and kiss her. Definetly don't get possesive that will only push her away more. This break could be the thing that makes your relationship stronger. You need to woo her and let her know that you are the one for her. Stay cool around her and her family. You definetly don't want to make her feel uncomfortable and just break it off all together. Just be the best friend that you can be. Oh..and if your together one night bring up the good moments you had together. little inside jokes that you have with her or funny moments you will never forget, and if its a place you haven't been in awhile, suggest going there to hang out or see how its changed.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010):

I don't know her so I can't really say. Years ago when I was in school I told my bf the same thing. It was because I was interested in another guy and wanted to see where things would go but I didn't want to lose my boyfriend in case it didn't work out. I'm not saying that she's found someone else, but it could be a possibility. She could be testing out waters and keeping you on the side just in case, and you are enabling that with your needy behaviour.

Don't let her play you like that. If she wants a break then let her have it - go out, have fun and date other girls. Don't relinquish control to her. She may come back, she may not, but dont waste your time waiting....go out and live life.

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