A
female
age
41-50,
*stanie
writes:I have a great guy of 2 years...great personality, intelligent, attractive, and attentive (affectionate)...he is everything that I have been searching for. But I have been very patient with him (cause we aren't having sex...trust me I want to but he is paranoid about pregnancy even though I went on birth control and he has always used a condom with girls he had sex with in the past but he now doesn't want to but can't help but is too scared to have unprotected sex!) and I'm feeling the unfairness...and kinda want to leave him. I know sex isn't everything but I feel like I fulfill his needs and I know he is content with me...but I'm unsatisfied and I'm not happy about our relationship. I want to talk to him about everything that I am feeling and thinking but I'm having a hard time opening up. Since we have been together...we saw each other everyday or at least every other day. This past month, he has been distant because of work and family problems. Should I be more understanding and patient? Or should I break it off?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): I understand it can be extremely frustrating not having sex. But think about what you'll be giving up if you do indeed break up with him. In your own words you describe him as "great personality, intelligent, attractive, and attentive (affectionate)" which if I'm not mistaken women say are hard to find attributes. But most important I want you to realise that it's not just those qualities which matter, it's the fact that you're attracted to him which bears the most weightage. It's relatively easy to find who may meet the metaphorical tickboxes, but to actually like someone and have them like you back is more difficult.I'd advise you to try resolving this by being open about your situation with him. Explain to him the gravity of the situation and he may come around.Good luck with it.
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