A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a married mum of twins who has fallen out of love with my husband of 15 years. He was my first love, however we never go out and he runs up parking fines and bills and never pays, so bailiffs are always knocking on our door and he constantly asking me for money even though i am part time.I started a new job and met a guy, initially I didn't notice him, but as I continued working there i found i got more and more attracted to him, we would go out to the gym, go to lunch together and generally got on really well. I left the company and kept in touch with him and met up with him on a number of occasions.He made me feel so special, he respected me and made me feel that I could do whatever I wanted to do. He treated me like a queen. To cut a long story short we ended up in bed and would meet up whenever we could.The problem is I have feelings for this guy and I told him how I felt. He says he likes me a lot too, but nothing could ever happen because he is also married too and is in a similar situation to me he also has a baby son and does not want his son to live the life he had without a father present. However, he wants us to meet up whenever we can and spend time together, but eventually become good friends.What should I do, I think Im in love with this guy, and have told him if it would make him happy, I would hope that we will be friends when things die down.I feel that i have wasted the last 20 years of my life with a man who has not treated me right,but cannot leave because of the kids.I have never felt this way before with anyone. But can I really be just good friends with this guy in the long run?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): you are fooling yourself...this is not even close to being treated respectfully. In a lot of ways he is what your husband to be, and that is very very attractive. Beware though this will end badly. I agree with the others, laura, janiepeg, and auntiebimbim, make a break if you arent happy. Find a good available man, after you are free...but this guy isnt it. And no you wont remain friends. Furthermore you wont even want to. Goodluck, mal
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 You could try to save your marriage and if it is not possible , you will have to leave.
Getting involved with another married man is not the answer to your problems. It will complicate your problems further.
He is only using you and there is no future in such a relationship.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 out of the frying pan into the fire.
there are two separate issues here.
Firstly if you are unhappy with your marriage, you owe it to your kids to end it. Remaining there with a man that you claim does not treat you right, who constantly breaks the law and who constantly runs up debts is not good for your children, who could learn from his example and may even end up not respecting you for accepting his behaivour.
The second issue is an affair with a married man. He has already told you there is no hope of happy ever after with him, are you sure you could be happy with being in love with a man that will not, and cannot love you back? Think of the lonely and miserable life you will be putting your hand up for.
If you think your marriage is not worth working on or saving, then walk away from it.
If you think your happiness lies within an sneaky, hole in the corner affair with a married man, you are sadly mistaken.
why not try stepping out on your own and creating a life for you and your kids that does not rely on having a man in it, the two candidates you have at the moment are hardly worth much, a useless husband and a cheating lover!
Dont you deserve better?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 I walked out of a marriage 3 years ago. I moved. I fell in love with a trucker who also came out of a bad relationship and he said so we will be friends? I said yeah. I was disappointed but one good thing he did was introduced me to a friend I later had sex with. I also experimented with my feelings with a few other guys. That led me to realize that sex and love could really be two different things, although making love with love is much better, much more fulfilling than just sex. Now we are not even friends. One month later I met my boyfriend and we are going steady for 2 years. When things die down for you it won't matter if you are friends anymore. Don't get stuck with what you are in.
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