A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Just as a background story, I am fifteen year old girl, I have never had sex (and don't aim to lose my v-card until I am at least eighteen) and I'm in my tenth year at the moment. I am constantly seeking sexual pleasure. I started masturbating when I was around ten years old but I never even realized what sex was until I was twelve. I know that is sick at that age, but I hid it from my parents because I was taught not to let anybody touch me there, and thought it applied to me as well. I have never had any sexual encounters with guys, btw. I feel so trapped in my own sexuality because I have never had an orgasm from touching myself or using items (I use tampons but have never stuck anything other than my finger and around five inches of hair brush). However I am CONSTANTLY feeling the need to touch myself but can only temporarily release the tension. I don't want to use a cucumber or a carrot or anything like that because I hear it can cause infection or damage. I really need to release this sexual pleasure because I really like this guy and sit next to him in every class and I feel so trapped because i LUST for him (i have for almost two years now). And I cant continue. As a side comment I am considering asking my parents for a vibrator, but my mom confessed to me THE night I was going to talk to her and confessed to me how she was molested when she was 13.I was considering going out and purchasing a vibrator for myself, but I don't like the idea of going behind my parents' back and having them find out the hard way and I will be so embarrassed if I enter a sex shop or something like Spencer's orSan Francisco. :/ I'm desperate for release, I'm not ready for sex, not sure what my mom will think of me asking for something sexual, dont want to go behind my parents back and purchase something and get caught... I'm so stuck. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): Masturbation is a personal and private issue, I'd recommend just getting one for yourself, there's no need to tell your parents unless you think that's a conversation they'd like to have with you.
You're 15, your self sexual experimentation is part of your privacy, besides can you really imagine going into a sex shop with your mom and buying a vibrator? Or can you imagine the conversation of asking her?
Just go ahead and get one, there's nothing to feel guilty about, you're not endangering yourself or anyone else, you simply want to explore your sexuality there's nothing wrong with that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): You don't need a vibrator to have an orgasm. When you try to pleasure yourself with your hand, you have to be more persistent if you want to make yourself cum. Masturbation feels intense and very pleasurable in the first few minutes, but then you can enter a faze when it feels like it isn't going anywhere, you don't feel any "progress", you don't feel pleasure building up. But it is, trust me. Just keep going and it will start feeling really good, and better and better... I suggest you try reading some erotic stories on the internet, to keep your mind turned on, because that is the most important thing when you masturbate. Also, try experimenting with different techniques. I can imagine how frustrating it must feel being horny and not getting any release. First you need to learn how to make yourself cum without the help of any battery operated toys, and then you can start having fun with vibrators. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (19 March 2011):
 Mishmash gave you a great answer. I have to think, though, that any reasonably large city will have shops where you can buy what you want for yourself. It's an intensely personal thing, and unless you have a truly exceptional relationship with one of your parents, asking them to do this for you would be quite difficult. Google "adult stores" for the city closest to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): You hide your masturbation from your parents "because I was taught not to let anybody touch me there, and thought it applied to me as well." I think that pretty much explains why you feel guilty about your sexual desire and wanting to buy a vibrator behind your parent's back.
I think it's normal to feel sexually frustrated and still not want to have sex with people. I pretty much felt that way between until I was 17.
I don't think masturabtion is "sick" either and I think you are fully entitled to touch your body. I'm not saying you should do it in your living room, but I am saying you shouldn't feel like a pervert.
Obviously your mom feels badly about what happened to her and she doesn't want it to happen to you. It wasn't her fault, but she proably feels ashamed about the abuse, understandably so, because it was probably a humiliating and degrading experience. This doesn't mean you should also need to feel ashamed about your own urges.
I think it's a good thing your mom shared this with you. At least she told you what happened.
Regarding the vibrator,I don't think you should feel guilty about buying one for yourself and using it. I don't think it's "going behind your parents back." Your parent's don't own your sexuality.
I also think a vibrator won't take take care of your sexual urges. If you've never had an orgasm before from touching or using items, then I doubt a vibrator will help you much. They can be nice, but they aren't magic wands. I hate to say it, but being horny and frustrated at your age is pretty much the norm. Guys are like this too.
I think you can and probably will figure out how to have an orgasm solo, but it takes a while to figure it out. It took me a while to figure it out. Feeling guilty or ashamed about it when what you're doing it only makes it harder.
You don't really need a vibrator. But if you want to go ahead an ask your mom for one, I think it's a fair request. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): jus tell her you want it because your not ready for sex but feel the need to release.
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