A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Met this guy over the summer. We clicked right away, but he has a long distance girlfriend. We start hanging out socially but he always flirts with me. I always remind him he has a girlfriend, but he is extremely persistent. Unfortunately Im completely head over heels so eventually I give in and I spend the night at his place. I pretty much live at his place for the next 4 weeks, he tells me he loves and doesnt know what to do when his GF comes back. Long story short he chooses her over me even though he says he wishes I were pregnant then he would just have to do 'the right thing' by choosing me without feeling guilty about his GF. I end up walking away I love him with all my heart but we were only together for 4 weeks, and he chose her, so he's happy I can learn to deal with it. Fast forward a year and a half... we bump into each other, first thing I ask, is he still with her, he says yes and its still long distance. Again we both have no self control and end up together now we've been together for 5 months and I feel so guilt ridden because she still has no idea, he refuses to tell her and its killing me. So we mutually decide we need to break it off so we do just that, only to spend the entire nigh crying about it in each other arms. We dont talk for about 2 weeks, then we meet up to exchange stuff etc. I am completely in control of my feelings, until he tells me he misses me and loves me so much and starts kissing me, I end up spending the night. And now we're back to him wanting to do the right thing by staying with his GF because he betrayed her trust before (the first time he told her about it, this time he didnt) He doesnt want to see her hurt like he did before, but also doesnt want to hurt me. He says he loves us both equally. I think thats complete B.S. I only ever got half a chance, he was always with her and always had her to fall back on, and always had her in the back of his mind, he never really let go and let us enjoy being together. If he loves me just as much as her with the pathetic chance I've had, I think he's love me more if he actually gave us a shot. I want to tell him he should break up with her and give us a real chance, even if its just for 3 months, then if he still wants her then fine, but at least I got a fair chance. If she loves him half as much as I do she'll wait and she will take him back. I wasnt with anyone else since first meeting him I know he's the love of my life. Every single one of his friends and my friends say we seem like we have been together for ever and are perfect together and have a connection that is extremely rare to find, we even had new friends think that we're already married etc. Should I ask him to break up with her or should I save myself the heart ache and just walk away knowing I was never given a real chance? His best friend since childhood told me he's never seen him in love like this before, even with his current GF, and he's positive that eventually he and I will end up together it's just a matter of time...
View related questions:
best friend, flirt, has a girlfriend, kissing, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2011):
 So many things i want to address here.1. he's having his KATE and EDITH too (cake and eat it too).... and yes it's possible to love two at once. not easy and not acceptable in most places but possible.2. he's LYING to her and CHEATING on her. he may at a later date do the same to you3. Personally as hard as it is and as much as I would NOT have done it at a younger age (read your age) to be honest the best thing you can do for your self is to tell him 'fish or cut bait'. In other words, get all your stuff, get out and tell him... "I want you. I want US but not until you are honest with her" and then he needs to PROVE it to you... and you go out and live your life until and if he ever can be adult and make a choice.
|
