A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife of three months keeps informing me of dreams she is having of ex's. I would say in an average week she dreams of them five or six times. They vary in content; some are sexual, some are not.First off, why is she telling me about these dreams? I have never once in my life dreamt of an ex. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell her about it.Second, should I be worried? I know you have no control over what you dream about, but there has to be some sort of subconscious connection that exists between her and her ex's to have these dreams.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): Yes you should be concerned. I certainly would be and I think any other guy who was in your position would be too.
Dreams are just dreams yes, but dreams aside, she is thinking of past relationships, and when you reminisce about the past you only ever see the good moments right?
She has other sexual partners in her head because of these dreams. And you not speaking up about it has her thinking it's ok to think of other guys.
I'd let her know how much this bothers you. Dreams are dreams but dirty thoughts of other men in a relationship can be harmful.
Seriously man aren’t you two married?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Dreams are just that, "dreams", and don't actually have any specific meanings across the population.Neither she, nor you, should read to much into your dreams, or (and this is particularly important) act on any impulses that come to mind because of dreams.Accept them, don't give them importance. Your mind has a lot of information in it.I've been married for 18 years, second marriage. I can still hear my first wife's voice...and I've not seen her in over 20 years, and occasionally, very rarely, will have a dream with her in it.
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A
female
reader, crazymarriage +, writes (2 October 2010):
I do not think anything is wrong or to be concern about. If she is telling you about the dreams then maybe she is worried about why she is having them. I have had dreams in the same why but I still love my husband, I wouldn't do anything to destroy that. I know in my heart I do not want any of my exs. Maybe you should try to talk to her more in detail of why she is having them.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 My ex was killed in a plane crash and after he died I dreamed about him a lot. We had been apart for about 6 years when he was killed and before it happened I had never dreamt about him but afterwards it was nearly every night. Like your wife some of the dreams were sexual but mostly they were just about being with him. I personally feel that the reason I did start dreaming about him was because once he'd been killed all I could think about was how it sucked for his family and all the fun times we'd had together before it all went wrong and we seperated. However I have not and will never tell my husband that I had these dreams as I think it's unfair because I never wanted my ex back and love my hubby to bits so I wouldn't want to give him a reason to worry about my love for him.
I guess what I'm trying to say in this long winded babble is that our dreams are simply a representation of many pieces of our life, past and present all mixed together so just because your wife is dreaming of her ex's doesn't mean she wants to get back together with them.
Maybe you could tell her you don't want to know about dreams about ex's anymore.
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