A
male
age
41-50,
*w1974
writes:Well i could do with some advice here if possible, Ive been dating a girl for a month or so. So far its been awsome we both look forward to seeing one another, chat on the phone etc.The last date went went on was great until the end of the evening when she started to tell me about her ex boyfriend. Basically they split up and he was crushed, his brother attemted suicide 7 months before over his relationship ending, this was same time she wanted to split and she wanted to end it then but felt bad if she did. So she stayed in an unhappy relationship with him until she could take no more. They have been split for a year now. They have had a few bits of contact since mainly with him not being able to take being just friends with her. But she hasnt heard from him in a while until the morning of our last date. He basically sent her a letter pouring his heart out to her, which she said has got to her a bit. She said in no uncertain terms to me that she has no interest in going back with him but wants to let him down gently without it being to hard on him and her because she hates hurting people because she gets very upset herself, and that he is a friend and thats all and now she has to do it all over again.She said she wanted to tell me about it incase i thought she was being funny or something along them lines. Now to me if a girl starts asking for a little space i kinda think she wants to end things. So i asked her if she did want to see me again because im a straight person and i prefer straight answers not excuses and i dont wish to be messed about, she said yes but lets not make any plans until i sort this out in the next few days. We made out for a while after this then she went home, she sent me a text saying she got home and she hoped it was cool and no worries or anything and she will speak to me soon.The next day we spoke and the subject came up of him in which she stated that she needs to fix this now, and that she is not at a point yet with me to be exclusive in which i told her im the same also but i do like her and would like to see her again,she replied with we will meet up again but she wants to deal with this now, and its better now than if we both are attatched to one another. She also read the letter out to me in which i didnt ask her to do. And said it was her way of asking for a litle space and that she felt pressure when i asked do you want to see me again. I didnt mean for it to put pressure on her but i also in turn didnt want to hear an excuse if she wanted to end it which she understood.She said she aint wasting my time and she is at a point in life where she would like a boyfriend again and that she is genuine and an honest person.She finished the chat with that she has to shoot and we will speak soon.Any input on on this will be great! sorry its long.
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female
reader, caddy_girl10  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 Hmm, if I were you I would just let her deal with it, if she is telling you that you guys are all cool and she just wants to tell him how she feels, then let her. I remember I had an ex that told me he was still in love with me but I didn't feel the same way, I just told him that just want us to be friends and that I'm sorry. She probably is just gonna do something like that, if you want some more advice or just to talk you can always just message me :)
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