A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is a Korean girl I have liked for three years. she didn't want to be my friend at first because her friends didn't like me out of gossip, but somehow me and this girl became best friends she doesn't like me enough to be my girl friend, she was a foreign exchange student so she is back in Korea but we still talk often, well until recently.She started saying stuff like she wasn't confortable talking to me anymore, I was not like any boy she has ever met and she doesn't know what she wants anymore, and we stopped talking for a few weeks.Something bad happened to her she won't say and I can't make her say anything. But now she's afraid of a normal life, she just wants to live in her high school dormitory and study which she now loves but use to loathe. she is breaking off all her relations with people except for me, but is pulling our friendship back a notch. and when I try to confort her and be nice to her, she says mean things she would never say before. like, out of random she says "I can tell you will have hard time getting a girlfriend, because you don't know how girls think or feel." she says this but she's never even opened up to me before. and I don't know what made her decide to start being mean to me lately. but I love this girl, she is the greatest thing that's happened to me, and we had such a great frienship before whatever happened to her happened, she is the most important person to me ever, and I want her to give me a chance, but "I'm not her type" (if I had a nickle everytime a girl said that to me, Bill Gates would have nothing on me) anyway, without risking my friendship or possible relationship with her, how do I get her to like me, or change her mind about me?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 December 2008):
 You've done what you can now, all you can do is let her go be by herself and give her a chance to miss you. Something may have happened at home that upset her, and do not let go of the fact that there are cultural differences between you two. Some may be overcome, but others may be insurmountable.
Tell her that you wish her well, that you do care for her, and think enough of her to let her do what she needs to do. Then back off for a while. You may never find out what happened, so start thinking about how you'll learn to live with not always finding out the full story. You'll encounter other situations like this as you go through life, so it is a chance to learn about yourself.
Remember that a healthy relationship allows for space between the people involved and don't feel you need to rush to fill in those gaps.
Take care.
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