A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm just going to cut to the chase because I don't really know how to introduce this.For absoutley ages I have been insanley in love with this woman I know at work, and we see each other pretty much every day, but recently we haven't been seeing each other as much. She's leaving soon - going across to Nevada - while I stay here in New York so keeps on visiting there.The thing is, she has two kids, her husband died and I don't actually know if she's single - I have a hunch that she's not. Although kids don't put me off, I just don't want her to be put under any pressure if I told her.Cutting to the chase once again, I don't know how I can live without her. She's my life. Although at times I think I have been obsessive and therefore it being more infatuation than love, I genuinley know it's love. What can I do to get over her!?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): It sounds to me like its infatuation with a little bit of obsession. Its not love. I know that for me to love someone there has to be some equal reciprocating on their part. They are going to have to show me alot more than just a friendly, flirty face at work everyday. In this case, it seems like she shows you a little bit of attention and a little bit of trust and you have taken it to mean alot more than it really does. I take it that perhaps you haven't had that many experiences with women? I suggest you do a couple of things. Be careful of your feelings. It is easy for people to develop obsessive and unrealistic thoughts when they are lacking close social networks and support. Close-knit friends and family are what keep most people in balance and in check. Start hanging out with your friends. Or just people you can trust. Talk to them, let them in on how you feel. Try get their insight and perspective on the matter. And focus on letting friends and family into your life. They will influence you and may even lead you into having a more healthy outlook on life and not let you fall into bad habits of obsessing or having unrealistic thoughts.
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