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female
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anonymous
writes: Im a 20yr old female and im totally in love with my friend who is 38 and also female. The problem is shes married. i have told her how i feel and shes cool with it but also said nothing will ever happen between us as she doesnt have those feeling towards me. I just cant get her out of my head. i have been with my boyfriend for over 3yrs and its starting to affected our relationship cos all i can think about is her, shes the only person i want to be with. I need to get her out of my mind and get on with my life, the question is how?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, wookiee's girlfriend +, writes (27 February 2006):
 telling her was a good thing and the fact she 's still your friend is even better. it's just like a relationship with a guy, you will eventually get over the crush. if thinking about her is affecting your relationship with your guy, then you should really think about what side you're gonna play on. the guys or the gals? neither is wrong, of course, and you can do both. but it isn't fair on your guy if you decide to go for girls, or don't decide and get torn up inside. it might just be compassion misunderstood , as well, so just keep an eye on your feelings and get some professional help if you really don't know what to do. hope this helps, honey!
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (27 February 2006):
 No easy answer, you did the best thing in telling her how you feel as now you can stop wondering and dreaming, she does not fancy you or want a relationship with you that is not just friends.
You need to decide if loosing her as a friend is the option, you cannot go on like this as it is a form of stalking, albeit in your head but it is affecting your own relationship and will soon effect the one she has with her husband, and you with her.
Either distance yourself from her, or get help from someone like a councillor etc.
Also take a look at your relationship with your bloke do you want a woman or a bloke, you really do need to look at your life and make some decisions.
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