A
male
age
41-50,
*azbod
writes:I've fallen in love with a colleague after very recently splitting with my wife. She wasnt the cause of our breakup but we did intially start seeing each other the same week I walked out - it was really just the little push I needed! Anyway, we have seen each other on or off for the last six weeks or so and became very close friends. She now knows more about me than anybody I know and as time has gone on I have realized I love her and that I have never felt this way about anybody before. I can tell her anything at all and although we have led very different lives we do have so much in common. Now comes the complicated part! Yes, she is married and happily so or so she says. Her hubby serves in the forces and this week has returned home for Xmas so she has been lonely and vulnerable. Now I have had to cut all contact for the next two weeks except for when she sends me the odd text. She tells me they are very much in love and in fact only last night broadcast on Fb that that had fallen in love all over again - that really drove the dagger through my heart. She has said to me that if it wasnt for her marriage she would reciprocate my feelings and that I would have swept her off her feet. None of this however helps me. I have that feeling in my stomach, I cant eat, I cant sleep, I cant switch my mind off and all I think of is her with her husband doing the things I want to be doing with her. My jealousy is extreme and I am not normally a jealous person. I can not concentrate on anything else but whatever I want to remain friends with her. I wish I knew more about how her mind works and why she went with me in the first place but I guess I never will. Her hubby goes back in the New Year for another couple of months and I know by then I must be a lot stronger to be able to resist these temptations but right now I cant do that. Nothing else seems to matter - the only thing I am sure off is that I was right to leave my wife, that was a seperate issue and something I dont regret. It hurts real bad, like nothing else I have ever felt. Sorry for rambling but I dont know what to do now. I am heartbroken.
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male
reader, roadman +, writes (31 December 2008):
 Well your the 2nd man in this story but a 2nd man who gets a hell of a lot of play time with the woman in question..What your feeling is very normal for someone who is not a pro player in the 2nd person role..
The art to this game is to know your place,and enjoy what you get,and don't take interest in what your not getting know your place and respect your place,and try to understand that another man who is the rightful owner has to get some sex to.
You'll never fully understand how a woman mind works,so don't waste your time trying to work it out..
Women play all kinds of love games and away games so if you get to deep into them they will make you sick as your are feeling,been through it many times in my life,but as time has past I've grown up to see its not worth me making myself sick over someone else who at this moment in time is not respecting how their actions will make me feel..
Just think to yourself just 2 weeks to wait and I'l be back in there,and when the cats away mice play
Safe Sex and Safey Belts!
A
male
reader, Gazbod +, writes (25 December 2008):
Gazbod is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou all for your kind comments and advice. I wish you all a Very Happy Christmas and New Year and will no doubt keep you posted on my progress.
I know it will hurt for a while yet but I also know what I have to do now to overcome and get on with my life. Thankyou.
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A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (25 December 2008):
 I know, sweetie....it hurts like hell. Go easy on yourself today and try a site called getpastyourpast- you obviously affected her and she was tempted but didn't act. Her only recourse is No Contact.
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A
female
reader, 48years +, writes (25 December 2008):
Satindesire is right, and I would add that women who are married are susseptible to flattery and flirtation. We are vain creatures and the attention you gave your colleague did indeed affect her. She meant it when she said you'd have swept her off her feet if she weren't married.
So what have you learned? You are capable of sweeping even a committed woman off her feet. Just think-there's a magnifiscent romance just waiting to happen to you with someone else. Every moment you spend living in the past with Mrs. Unavailable is a moment wasted which you could be using to look for Miss Lovesyouandonlyyou.
People often fall in love with colleagues because they don't step out of their routines to find someone new.
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A
male
reader, Gazbod +, writes (25 December 2008):
Gazbod is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell things were kind of taken out of my hands anyway. I had some text msg communication from her which I replied to yesterday which was fine but I also sent an email on facebook which although didnt give anything away was read by her husband from what I can gather. Next thing I know I get a text saying that this will not work, her husband will not accept any man as her friend and that I was to break all contact with her! She had had a shit day and basiaclly it was down to me. He must have had some suspicion for her to do that and now I know that when she leaves my work place I will probably never hear from her again. That in itself really hurts as I wanted to stay friends regardless and the way she went about it and what she said in that text was yet another punch in the gut! So now the decision has been made for me and while I know its for the best it doesnt make it any easier especially today of all days.
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