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She's come back into my life, but she has a Bf. Should I tell her my feelings for her?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 July 2014)
A male United States age 30-35, *ustToonz writes:

Too make a long story short. A girl who ive really liked has come back into my life, I've liked her since 7th grade and that was 9 years ago.

I'm a college junior now and a lot has changed from then, she is still amazing to me, when i first saw her a long time ago i was the shy and nervous type around her i never officially got the chance to really tell her how i felt about her.

She was so beautiful and had a nice personality, everytime i look her in the eyes i feel something for her, i saw her at the mall last week and spoke with her for a short amount of time, i gave her my number and me and her have been texting each other and catching up for 4 days now, i feel really happy knowing me and her are finally connecting after 7 years without talking.

so anyways the bad thing is that she has a boyfriend, i dont really know what i should do, my heart and instinct is telling me to keep what i have going with her because i dont want to lose her again, also i would like to know when should i tell her how much i really care about her and that i like her?

View related questions: has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, shy, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2014):

I am going to be the odd ball here. Do you regret never mentioning your feelings to her before? It seems like you do. So if you just ignore this again; will you regret it 9 years from now?

Im not saying to profess your dying love all at once; but whats wrong with continuing to talk to her? Just dont seem desperate. Text ocassio ally, if she says she has nothing to do etc...invite her to a night out with you and your friends.

Never alone. That would be disrespectful to her relationship; then again, some say all if fair in love and war. Shes a big girl, she should know where to draw the line on the relationship aspect. I expect my girlfriend to know what is appropriate and what is not...let her be the judge of that.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (24 July 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntShe has an 'established' life plan with her curren boyfriend. Why confuse(disrupt) that? just to hope against hope that she might have latent feelings for you and dump her current love? I think you;re trying to live out a fantasy we all have from time to time. he 'what if' fantasy is pretty much just that(a fantasy) my advice is to leave things as they are. fate has delt you a hand not worth playing. Good Luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2014):

My young friend, she is not back into your life. You ran into her by accident, and now you're texting each other.

Your feelings are not the same as hers. She is being friendly and catching up. You are falling for her again. She has a boyfriend and you're setting yourself up for heartbreak; and possibly a punch in the face.

I think you should stop texting her; because you are not over her yet. You are also disrespecting her relationship; and that does not reflect well on you as a person. If she was your girlfriend, you wouldn't like some guy hanging around her, and/or some ex trying to take her back.

Painful as it would be, it is time to grow up and let her go. You can't have her. She belongs to someone else right now, and you should respect that. If you don't, someday what you've done to hurt someone's relationship will happen to yours. That would be your karma. If she would cheat on her boyfriend, she would cheat on you.

Keep your feelings to yourself. You would only be telling her to draw her pity and make her feel guilty. Even worse, you want to tempt her to leave her boyfriend. That's not fair. If it doesn't happen, you've set yourself up to feel the same pain as when you broke-up before. Heed my words young man, or you'll be back to DC in the worse pain ever!

Go find a young lady who is single and available.

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